


Puppy Pack Road Trip

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Accidents, Being Lost, Bullying, Canon-Typical Behavior, Comforting Theo Raeken, Concerned Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Drunkenness, Established Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Everyone Is Gay, Evil Plans, F/F, Gay Mutant Road Trip, Good Friend Corey Bryant, Good Theo Raeken, Hotels, How Do I Tag, Jealous Brett Talbot, Kidnapping, Liam Dunbar & Mason Hewitt Friendship, Liam is So Done, M/M, McDonald's, Mentioned One Direction, Music, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pack Dynamics, Pack Feels, Protective Brett Talbot, Protective Liam Dunbar, Redemption, Road Trips, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Sorry Not Sorry, Teasing, The Author Regrets Everything, Theo Raeken is Liam Dunbar's Anchor, Theo is a Little Shit, Threats, Walks In The Woods, Werewolf Hunters, Worried Liam Dunbar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24791197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The puppy pack go on a very chaotic, very gay road trip, be prepared for a whole lot of drunken messes, kink talk, and Liam being the done father he is.Monroe is back, and when she comes up with another plan to take down Scott and the pack that goes against all her own morals, it's up to Liam and his band of gay disasters to save the day. Or, at least try to.
Relationships: Alec/Gabe (Teen Wolf), Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt, Hayden Romero/Lori Talbot, Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Nolan/Brett Talbot
Comments: 58
Kudos: 69





	1. This was a bad idea.

**Author's Note:**

> Oof, ok, this is going to be a longer author's note, read if you want :)  
> The inspiration for this came from a fic I recently read which was a puppy pack group chat, it’s hilarious, do go read it if you haven’t, I think it is called that. I loved the dynamic, and the unexpected ships that I didn’t see me loving, but did.
> 
> Um, so, Brett, Lori and Gabe are still alive, I’m going to be doing Hayden/Lori, and Alec/Gabe and Nolan/Brett, which were indeed two of the ships used in the other fic, so again, no credits to me haha. I literally would never have expected to ship any of those, but here we are I suppose?
> 
> Oh my god this is long, sorry. I also loved the Thiam being the puppy pack dads element the writer incorporated, so that will be there too. I will hopefully write one shots still whilst in the process of writing this, and feel free to only read the first chapter of this, I know many people don’t read longer works. Hope you enjoy I guess and sorry for the long note :D

Corey sighed loudly, hoping to get his frustration across, as Mason grabbed his hand, suitcase in his other.

“It’s one week Corey, it’ll be fun.” Mason assured him and Corey just rolled his eyes in response. The pack were going on a road trip, idea courtesy of Liam, who had decided that they needed to, quote “bond more so I can prove to Scott that I’m the better pack leader”. It would’ve been fine, if it had just been Mason, Liam, and himself, maybe Theo, but Liam had insisted that everyone come, including Brett, Alec, Nolan, Gabe, Lori and Hayden. There was no way Theo was letting Alec or Hayden in his truck, so Alec, Brett, Gabe, Lori and Hayden were driving in one car, with Liam, Mason, Nolan, Theo and himself were riding in Theo’s truck. Great. A five-hour car ride with Dad 1 and 2, plus little lovesick Nolan. “Anyway, you’ll have me.” Mason smiled slyly and pulled Corey in closer, kissing him gently, which quickly turned more heated, and Corey bit his boyfriend’s bottom lip as they drew apart, eyes dark and lust filled.

“I guess it’ll be tolerable then.” Corey groaned in mock reluctance and followed Mason out the door, hand in hand, to Theo’s truck, which Liam and Theo were backed up making out against, clearly oblivious to the fact that Nolan was right next to them. “Liam. Theo.”

“Corey.” Theo replied smugly as they pulled apart. “Bags?”

“Yep, just a couple.” Mason handed them to the chimera and he walked round to put them in the trunk.

“Can we go now?” Nolan sighed impatiently, hopped into the passenger seat and slammed the door loudly behind him. Liam rolled his eyes, almost identically to a bored parent much to Corey’s concern, Liam had been taking leader of the pack quite seriously he thought.

“Someone’s moody.” Mason remarked, pointing to Nolan scrolling through his phone inside the truck.

“Someone, got told that his boyfriend was riding in another car, and someone has decided to take his separation anxiety out on us.” Liam enunciated, obviously trying to get his point across to the teenager inside. He rolled down the window. “Nolan, get out, I called shotgun earlier.”

“My boyfriend’s in another car for five hours, I get shotgun.”

“Theo’s gonna kick you out.”

“Theo’s really tempted to let you have shotgun, but a certain little wolf with anger issues would kill him, so get out.” Theo smirked, pulled Nolan out by his hood, and shoved him into the back, beside Mason and Corey who had sat down already, squished up against each other, it was certainly one of the least comfortable positions to be stuck in for five hours.

~~~

“Brett’s missing me too, right?” Nolan asked wistfully, Brett’s hoodie was at least three times too big for him, and his hands were curled into the sleeves. Everyone else sighed, Nolan hadn’t shut up about Brett for about a week now since they’d been dating, and they had unanimously decided it was just best to just ignore him really. 

“So what do you guys wanna do? We gotta be careful, Monroe and shit, but I got a couple of flyers, and we could go scuba diving, visit a museum-“ Mason began leafing through pages but promptly stopped as he realised it was all falling on deaf ears, bar his boyfriend who was listening intently, hand on his thigh. Nolan was still texting Brett, smiling occasionally as he got a reply, and Liam and Theo were arguing furiously in the front.

“Theo, look at them!” Liam shoved his phone in the driving Theo’s face, showing him what appeared to Corey to be a website about faucets. “They’re perfect.”

“Liam, we are not buying new faucets. We do not have that kind of money.”

“But Theo, please.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Are you wearing my shoes?"

“What?”

Corey turned his attention away from the bickering married couple back to Nolan and noticed a purple bruise looking mark outstanding on his pale neck. “Nolan, did you hurt yourself?” he asked. Liam’s head snapped around furiously, protective mode engaged.

“No, why?” he shrugged and continued to text Brett. Theo turned around as they stopped at a red light, caught sight of the mark and raised his eyebrows knowingly. 

“You have something on your neck.” Corey pointed out worriedly and Mason and Theo exchanged a glance, whilst Nolan just blushed. “Wait, no way, is that a hickey baby Nol?” It finally clicked and Liam’s eyes widened rapidly, he turned around so harshly Corey swore the seat was lucky it was still intact. 

“Give me your phone.” Liam demanded, “How dare Brett corrupt our innocent Nolan, I will kill him, I’m going to kill him-“ he rambled furiously as Theo stretched out his arm across the beta’s front to contain him, he was desperately trying to reach the bored looking Nolan’s phone.

“You will do no such thing Liam.” Theo smiled and shot him a glance which Corey didn’t want to interpret to be honest.

“We’ve done worse anyway. It’s not a big deal.” Nolan shrugged again and it took all of Theo’s strength to keep the werewolf from launching himself onto Nolan and scaring Brett away for eternity over the phone.

“Oh yeah, I have the booking confirmation for you and Brett’s motel room by the way, I’ll give it to you when we get there.” Mason told the other human once Liam had calmed down; Nolan smiled gratefully.

“You booked them their own room?!” Liam cried outraged; the calm they had achieved for two minutes quickly vanished. 

“Who else was I gonna put them with, they’re too love sick for anyone else to tolerate rooming with them?” Theo responded and Nolan looked offended but immediately proved Theo’s point correct by taking a quick selfie and sending it to Brett a wide grin on his face. “Eugh, love.”

“Number one, excuse me? And number two, I’m totally going to go sleep between them.” Liam stated and Nolan shook his head vigorously at the thought, while Theo just smiled sceptically. “There shall be no....funny business between the two of you while we are gone.”

“But Liam, if you’re sleeping with them, who’s going to sleep with me?” Theo winked slyly and Liam blushed furiously. “Besides, I can almost guarantee they’ll fuck, and I’m sure you’d rather not be there while it happened.”

“Theo.” Liam hissed, “don’t encourage them.”

“Can we get McDonald’s?” Nolan interjected, popping up from behind.

“Not now Noley, wait until they’re done with whatever’s going on.” Mason sighed at the young boy and placed his hand in Corey’s. This was going to be a long drive.

~~~

They finally made it to the hotel four and a half hours later, Liam had given in and bought Nolan McDonald’s, he’d gotten a happy meal and Corey couldn’t help but smile at, yet be concerned about how much of a family Nolan and his two Dad’s had looked like. Over the course of the journey there had been a number of things he couldn’t repeat said, a few people very nearly run over as Theo had slammed down on the brakes in frustration, usually provoked by some crap Liam spewed, and one seat belt completely torn in half. Not bad considering who’d been stuck in a car with each other for five hours.

Gabe’s car pulled up minutes later, and everyone hugged everyone, Nolan kissing Brett hungrily much to Liam’s disgust, and they started to walk towards the motel, which was about five minutes away from the car park.

“And basically, Alec puked everywhere.” Hayden finished her story practically in tears from how much she’d been laughing as they got there.

“You guys shouldn’t have had alcohol, are you alright now Alec? Liam asked concerned, dad mode activated, to which a clearly still highly intoxicated Alec stuck his middle finger up at.

“Fuck off Dad.” He slurred. They all laughed apart from Liam who scowled and told him he was grounded, and made their way over to the front desk. Once they were checked in and had each made their way to their respective rooms, Liam flopped onto his and Theo’s bed in despair, moans already coming from all around them. 

“I can already hear Brett and Nolan, and Alec and Gabe I think.” He groaned and paused to listen, “Is that Hayden and Lori? What? Since when are they a thing?!”

“This pack is really gay.” Theo chuckled, removing his shirt.

“They’re so innocent, this shouldn’t be happening!”

“Liam, you’re seriously turning into the Dad.”

“That’d mean you’d be the mom.”

“I’d be the other dad dumbass, and I’m the cool one.”

“It was a bad idea coming here, wasn’t it?”

“Probably.”


	2. Have fun dads.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam continues to be a protective father and they all get lost in the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's so short, but hope you enjoy :)

“We need to talk about.... this.” Liam gestured to his pack sitting around the table as they ate breakfast, Nolan practically on top of Brett much to his disapproval. “Since when is no one straight?”

“I like it, keep the breeders to the McCall pack.” Nolan frowned but Theo just shook his head and laughed.

“Ah baby Nolan, none of them are straight either. That pack is a gold mine of bisexuality, trust me.” He tried to steal a sausage off of Liam’s plate who furiously batted his hand away and Theo held his hands up in mock fear, before continuing to eat his boyfriend’s food anyway.

“Hayden, since when are you into girls?” Liam gave up on Theo and asked his ex, who had made what could pass as a piece of artwork on Lori’s neck of hickeys.  
“Since Lori.” She replied curtly to which Liam just rolled his eyes. Hayden has a very distinct type. Blondes. That’s it, that’s her only requirement in a partner.

“So, how come you never tell me anything?” Brett asked his sister.

“Because you’d turn all Liam on me and try and murder Hayden.” Lori said matter-of-factly then turned to her girlfriend, “and as much as I love you baby, I think he could take you.”

“Oh my god, she said she loved her, my ship has sailed!” Nolan squealed excitedly to which Liam just glared at him disappointedly.

“I’d say your ship sailed last night to be honest.” Theo added smirking and sipping his coffee, Liam promptly punched him on the shoulder in response.

“What did I say about not encouraging them?”

“So, what’s you guys’ status then?” Mason asked Alec and Gabe politely, changing the subject before they had to deal with another Dad fight.

“Friends with benefits.” Alec replied as everyone groaned. “What?”

“Oh my god just admit you like each other already.” Lori moaned.

“Hayden, I don’t think I could love her any more than I do.” Nolan whispered to Hayden, who smiled warmly in response.

“We like each other, as friends. Who sometimes fuck.” Gabe explained and Liam flinched.

“What did we say about using that word Gabe?” he scolded, wagging his finger exactly like a father would at his child who’d just sworn, not a teenager the same age as him that he had no relation to.

“So, what would you use to describe what we did last night little wolf?” Theo questioned and Liam snarled at him.

“Ew, Mom and Dad fucked.” Nolan groaned in disgust.

“Told you you were the mom.”

“Nolan we’re not your parents- excuse me? You’re so the mom out of the two of us Li.”

“Not true.”

“Totally true.”

“If your parents ever get divorced, it’s your fault Nol.” Alec muttered as Liam and Theo continued to argue with each other across the table. 

~~~

“Why’d we agree to this Mase?” Corey asked Mason, who was leading them down a path in the forest, it had started getting dark and they had been walking for hours already. Mason was the designated map reader as other than him maybe only Theo had the brains for that, and he would probably get them lost on purpose out of spite. 

“We didn’t really have a choice. Besides, it’s better than nothing, we’re all here together and the arguing seems to have ceased, for now at least.” Mason looked back at his pack members, Hayden and Lori were stopping every two seconds to take selfies for Instagram, Nolan was trying to convince Brett to give him a piggy pack, and seemed to be losing that argument, Alec and Gabe were talking animatedly, Corey presumed about this new show they’d started together, and Theo and Liam were walking hand in hand, watching the rest of them like proud parents. Liam caught Mason’s eye and grinned at him, who grinned back uncertainly. “On the other hand, I have no idea where we are.” 

“What?”

“It’s like, really dark, and in case you forgot I’m not a fucking wolf like practically everyone else here, so yeah. We’re lost.”

“Liam’s going to kill you.”

“He’ll be busy trying to comfort his son.”

“Nope, I think he’s too busy with hunky lacrosse guy to be worried right now.”

“But Brett will be too worried about Lori- why is this what we’re most concerned about?” Mason stopped and squinted at the map again. “I think we just went past that stream?” It was now nearly pitch black, the path was surrounded by inconveniently similar looking, dark, tall trees, blocking out any light that could’ve been left. Leaves crunched under their feet as they continued to walk, and owls hooted eerily, if they hadn’t faced far worse Corey would probably have been scared as fuck. 

“I think it’s time to tell Liam that we’re like, helplessly lost babe.” Corey smiled tiredly. “You can’t lose the pride you didn’t have in the first place.” 

“Very funny.” Mason rolled his eyes and the chameleon just smiled wider, “but sure, he may miraculously have some idea how to get back.” Liam walked forward towards the two of them, dragging a disgruntled Theo behind him by the hand. 

“You idiots do realise I can hear you right?” he said bluntly, “and we are not Nolan’s parents.”

“You’re correct, we’re not. But you totally are.” Theo cut in, but Liam just ignored him. 

“I think I remember a way ba-“ Liam trailed off and stared out into the distance, eyes suddenly flashing a bright yellow. He growled lowly and Mason and Corey glanced at each other concerned, while Theo sniffed hurriedly. 

“You smell that too?” he asked his boyfriend who nodded immediately, but then immediately shushed him as he continued to listen intently. 

“Smell what?” Nolan asked coming up behind them, the whole pack had gathered together at the sight of Liam’s eyes, he didn’t often lose control that easily, especially not with his anchor there.

“I can hear heartbeats?” Hayden offered and Brett nodded at that, he could hear them too, about five or six. Liam still seemed on edge, which was weird given that it could literally just be any passer bys’ heartbeats as far as Corey was concerned. 

“I recognise the smell. There’s something about it, I can’t put my finger on it.” Liam muttered under his breath, his claws had started to cut into the soft flesh of his hands and a single drop of crimson blood dripped onto the ground, contrasting nicely with the brown dirt. This caught Theo’s attention, who snapped out of action mode and back into concerned boyfriend mode. 

“It’s probably nothing babe. Let’s just get back to the hotel.” Theo grabbed Liam’s freshly healed hand and Liam’s worry immediately quelled and his eyes returned to their beautiful blue at the touch of his anchor. 

“Oh my god my dads are so cute!” Nolan squealed again to which Theo glared at him. 

“For god’s sake shut the fuck up Nolan.” Alec reprimanded and Lori laughed. “Now can we please get back, I have a friend that needs banging.” He winked at Gabe who just stared at the ground. 

“You know what, let’s never go back.” Liam exclaimed and everyone just raised their eyebrows at him in despair. “You know I’m doing the right thing here.”

“Liam come on already, it’d be nice to get back before we freeze to our fucking deaths. Or get eaten.” Hayden said, shivering, even with Lori’s arm around her, which Brett didn’t seem to be crazily happy about, but he wasn’t one to talk, Nolan was usually found sitting on his lap most of the time. Maybe Liam was right to be concerned about the level of pda the pack seemed to be cool with? 

“I’d rather get eaten than have to listen to you guys again. I need to bleach my ears.” Liam shook his head adamantly. 

“How about we shove the bleach down your throat instead?” Alec snapped back to which Theo glared at him. “What I mean is,” he glared back at Theo, “is that we’d all really appreciate it big bad alpha, who isn’t even an alpha but whatever, if you’d lead all our sorry asses home.” he drawled sarcastically. 

~~~

“You still worked up about the smell Li?” Theo asked the wolf, who was sitting at the end of their bed, staring out into space, they’d gotten back about half an hour ago, it had taken ten minutes of promising Liam that none of them would do anything that he wouldn’t, which wasn’t much of a promise seeing as they all knew and made fun of Liam’s kinks, to get them moving, then another hour to get back, Nolan had tripped over a tree root a record number of times. 

“I know I recognise it. And it’s not one that I associate with anything good.” Liam whispered, and Theo could smell the fear coming off of him strongly. “What if someone gets hurt?”

“Liam. Look at me.” Theo took his hand and looked the beta straight in the eyes, “no ones going to get hurt. I would never let that happen, nor would anybody else, not Mason, Corey, Hayden, even Alec would give his life for any of us. You could never let that happen.”

“I just want to be a good alpha.” Liam said in a small voice and Theo just laughed and pulled him into his arms, Liam’s head resting against his bare chest and Theo’s arms wrapped around him. 

“You’re just a little beta but you’re the best alpha I know. And the best boyfriend I could’ve hoped for.” He pulled Liam off of him and smirked, “Now, I know something we could do to get your mind off of things.” 

“Damn Raeken, you really take any chance you get.”

“Of course.” Theo smiled and began to work on taking Liam’s shirt off when they were interrupted by Nolan’s voice coming from the room beside them. 

“It was so wholesome and you guys ruined it.” Nolan pouted. 

“You were listening?!” Liam cried outraged. 

“Of course, you guys are cute.” Nolan responded sweetly. “Though not sure I agree with Theo on the, ‘best alpha’ bit, pretty sure Scott earned that one.”

“Fuck off Nolan.” Liam said, then gasped at his use of words and Theo just laughed. 

“Can we go play laser tag tomorrow Dad?” 

“Fine, whatever, and I’m not your Dad!” Liam raised his voice. 

“Sure sure, have fun dads.”

“Good night Nolan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated and I will try update as soon as I can 🥰


	3. Shit.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nolan and Alec get shit faced and they run into a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this super late at night so I apologise if it lacks quality, um, but I hope you enjoy anyway :)

“We didn’t cheat.” Alec denied and Liam scoffed. They were walking back to their motel after an, interesting was the adjective Liam would deem most appropriate to describe it as, game of laser tag, as requested by Nolan. Theo, Hayden, Gabe, Lori and Alec had absolutely annihilated Nolan, Liam, Brett, Mason and Corey. 

“Tell that to the eight year old girls you recruited to distract us.” He snapped. 

“We didn’t tell them anything.” Hayden shrugged. 

“Yeah right. You knew we’d have to help them, we actually have souls you know.” Nolan replied playing with the strings on Brett’s hoodie, stumbling along the path, clearly incredibly intoxicated, him and Alec seemingly constantly were. 

“We didn’t do anything, are you telling me you didn’t believe the poor little girls? I may have to tell Scott.” Theo smirked. 

“Yeah, apart from the fact that there were no marks on their bodies, yet they were sobbing hysterically and their heartbeats were going crazy.” Brett rolled his eyes while he struggled to support the human wiggling in his arms. 

“Little girls are just dramatic.” Theo shrugged. 

“Didn’t you drown one?” Alec slurred and laughed, everyone staring, not knowing whether to laugh or be disappointed in him. 

“Well damn.” Lori muttered under her breath, to which Hayden laughed and then were both respectively glared at by Liam. 

“Didn’t you l-like kill half of like everyone T?” Nolan questioned, stammering, waving his arms in the air like a mad man. God, they all had a very low alcohol tolerance. 

“Oh, don’t get Mason started.” Corey warned Nolan. 

“He did a lot of things, he drowned his sister, shot Malia, drove Lydia insane, and slapped her, turned Scott and Stiles on each other, basically dismantled the entire pack, killed loads of people, manipulated Liam into trying to kill Scott, and then actually killed Scott. Then Kira put him in the ground. I don’t know why we still hang out with him but here we are.” Mason stated while Theo just rolled his eyes. 

“We hang out with him because I love him.” Liam smiled sweetly and took Theo’s hand in his. 

“And because he likes fucking him.” Hayden added earning another of Liam’s trademark Mom glares. “You know it’s true, we all heard you last night.”

“This pack really needs to work on respecting people’s privacy. And learning when to stop with the pda.” Liam raised his eyebrows at Brett and Nolan, and sighed once he saw that Nolan had managed to climb on top of the taller boys shoulders and was hanging off of him like a koala as they walked, how he’d managed that, he had no idea. “I’m also still really disappointed in this pack’s inability to stay sober.”

“What d’ya mean Li, I’m like totally always soberrr?” Alec started before stopping when his cheeks swelled as he tried not to vomit everywhere. Lori ran over to help, and pulled out a bottle of water seemingly out of nowhere.

“Looks like Lori is replacing Theo as pack mom.” Corey chuckled but was immediately silenced by a glare from Theo that was nearly as bad as his boyfriend’s. 

“She’s so cute, I can’t even.” Hayden squealed fondly and Nolan paused his koala - esque adventures to nod to that. 

“Ok, you can gay panic later.” Liam rolled his eyes and observed the situation occurring in front of him. “God Scott would be disappointed, how did I end up with you guys as a pack?”

“You have a thing for taking in strays.” Mason patted him on the back, “why you do so, I don’t know to be honest. You’d think you would’ve learnt your lesson by now.” 

“Is Liam homophobic?” Alec questioned out of the blue and Gabe laughed. 

“Yep, I’m totally homophobic Alec, I’m definitely not bi myself, and dating a guy.” Liam nodded in fake earnest. 

“No, but like I meant he hates straights?” Alec pulled an exaggerated thinking face. 

“That’s being a heterophobe Alec sweetie.” Lori laughed fondly and Gabe just narrowed his eyes, which earned him quite a fair few, ‘told you you cared’ stares. “And he’s not.”

“But he has managed to only rally the gays for his pack.” Nolan nodded in agreement, Alec jumped, he must’ve forgotten Nolan was there, and they both began to laugh hysterically. 

“Yeah, we need to get them home.” Theo shook his head and Brett removed the giggling Nolan from his shoulders. 

“I have to film this first, there’s no way I’m letting them forget this.” Hayden pulled out her phone to film the two, who had grabbed onto each other and were waddling down the path, heads knocking together as they giggled.

“Children.” Liam sighed, placing his head into his hands, only to look up momentarily. He had caught that scent again, the familiar one from the previous night. Brett, Lori, Hayden and Theo seemed to have done the same, and glanced at each other anxiously. Suddenly, Liam caught sight of a gleaming metal he’d seen too much over the last year. It was a gun. He waved his hand back at his pack, telling them to be quiet, and his eyes trailed up to the holder of said gun. No fucking way. It was Monroe. Of course it was. Just his luck. “Follow me.” He hissed, and they all ran behind the nearest tree. 

“Hunters?” Corey asked. 

“Monroe.” Liam replied, teeth gritted. 

“Miss Monroe’s here?” the traditionally quiet Gabe spoke up, his voice tremoring. 

“That sucks.” Alec huffed. “Can we go say hi?” he began to move forward and Theo lunged out to pull him back. 

“Damn, this isn’t great timing.” Mason sighed, “are we gonna call Scott?”

“I’ll tell him later, but not now.” Liam shook his head. This was his problem, and he was going to deal with it. 

“So what’s the plan?” Brett asked. 

“Do you want us to go fight, because I’m like one hundred percent I could take her?” Hayden offered. 

“No Hayden.” Theo shook his head protectively. 

“Nolan and Gabe are going to have to talk to her. Find out why she’s here. She knows them best. And she still doesn’t know they’re with us yet.” Liam explained. 

“As much as I trust you, are you sure Nolan’s the best for the job right now?” Lori pointed at her brother’s boyfriend who was trying to eat an acorn on the floor. 

“He’s going to have to be.” Theo sighed. 

“Hey Nol, I’m going to need you to listen carefully, alright?” Liam bent down and explained the plan to the human. All they had to do was talk to her long enough to find out what she knew and why she was here. Should be simple enough. 

They huddled together as Nolan and Gabe strolled over, Gabe nonchalant and calm, Nolan, less so, he was still attempting too dissect the acorn, and work out how to eat it. Liam put his head in his hands in defeat. 

“Your son needs to work on his acting skills.” Corey whispered to Liam who glared at him before continuing to watch intently. 

“Boys. What are you doing here, I haven’t seen you since, well, I’m sure you heard.” Monroe’s voice rang out clearly and Liam began to growl lowly, Theo placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Sup you little bitch?” Nolan slurred and tripped over his own feet, Monroe’s jaw dropped in confusion, and Gabe closed his eyes in embarrassment. Good god drunk Nolan was bad at this. 

“What a joker you are Nolan. What he means is, what are you doing here Miss?” Gabe covered smoothly, placing an arm around the swaying boy. 

“You know, defending innocent people, the usual.” She laughed, her trademark smile with a fake sense of security plastered across her smug face. “Won’t stop until everyone of those disgusting creatures is gone for good.” Brett’s eyes glowed angrily and Hayden’s fangs appeared at her words. 

“Do you like ketchup on scrambled eggs?” Nolan stepped towards the concerned woman, who backed away. “Because some people do and it’s like totally gross.”

“Stick to the plan Nolan.” Liam hissed. 

“What are your opinions on Leonardo DiCaprio?” Nolan continued. “I think he’s adorable, but then again I’m like totally gay.” He paused, a look of genuine concern on his face. “Wait. I’m gay?” he backed away and looked up at Gabe. “Did you know about this?”

“Is he alright?” Monroe said suspiciously. 

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Gabe laughed awkwardly. “Aren’t you Nolan?”

“I’m great! I’m actually on a road trip right now.” Nolan laughed and then slapped his hand over his mouth. “Liam told me not to say that.” This peaked Monroe’s interest and she stepped forward. 

“Liam Dunbar? You know where he is?”

“Um...” Nolan ran away and stood behind a nearby tree, still in plain sight. “Can she still see me?” he hissed. Theo sighed in disappointment and Hayden was trying super hard to not laugh whilst holding down Alec. She failed. He wriggled away and ran towards Monroe eagerly much to his packs annoyance. 

“Liam Dunbar, pfft who’s that?” Alec shouted very much lacking subtlety. 

“Who’s this Gabe?” Monroe asked, Liam could smell her suspicion rising. 

“Don’t talk to him like that, I could rip your head off with my teeth little old lady.” Alec frowned and staggered towards the woman who smiled triumphantly and cocked the gun, finger on the trigger, and pointed it directly at Alec's head. 

Shit.


	4. You psychopath.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calm is momentarily restored, and Corey is labelled a psychopath.

“Hey hey hey, let’s talk about this for a minute before someone does something stupid.” Liam ran over and stood in front of Alec, who was shaking violently, and Monroe smiled smugly at the sight of the young wolf.

“Good to see you Mr Dunbar, but personally I think we’ve done plenty of talking already, don’t you?” she raised her eyebrows slightly, but released her tight grip on the trigger. Progress.

“Let’s just think about this rationally. You’re completely outnumbered, okay.” Liam said slowly and calmly, he had one shot at this. The rest of the pack that hadn’t already run out into the clearing, that being everyone but Nolan, Alec, Gabe and Liam remained silent behind the tree, awaiting instruction. That was good, they had the element of surprise, the upper hand. Liam steadied himself as that familiar gut wrenching feeling of failure began to stew in his stomach, he couldn’t lose anyone else. Not now. Not when it’d been his idea to come in the first place. Good god he was stupid. He didn’t deserve to be leading this pack. The least he could do now was to get them out of here safely. He had to, he owed them that. Taking a deep breath, he continued. “We don’t want anyone to get hurt, alright?”

“Oh Liam. That’s cute, that really is.” Monroe smiled; a patronising essence obvious. “But I think that ship sailed quite a while ago.”

“Ooh you mean like Hayden and Lori, that ship sailed like a couple nights ago!” Nolan rambled, looking incredibly excited, and Gabe just punched him on the shoulder in a vain attempt to shut him up, which instead just caused him to yell out sharply in pain. Monroe didn’t break eye contact with Liam however, but raised her eyebrows even higher, and Liam sighed in disappointment. He really needs to put out a ban on underage drinking. 

“You’ve accumulated quite a pack here Liam.” Monroe gestured to the three teenagers stood behind the beta in disbelief, she looked as if she was struggling to refrain from laughing hysterically at the bunch of misfits. “What happened to Scott’s?”

“Still doing great I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear.” Liam puffed out his chest proudly, two could play at that game. “What happened to your pathetic excuse of army?” That’s it Liam. Stall as long as you can and gather as much information as possible. You got this. 

“Nice try Dunbar. I’ve gathered enough experience in this field to know exactly what you’re doing. And your friends and I will have plenty of time to talk once I blow the small excuse of a brain you posses out of your skull.” She smiled sinisterly, rested her finger back on the trigger, and aimed for square in the middle of Liam’s forehead, he closed his eyes, waiting for the sound of the inevitable gunshot, there was nothing he could do to prevent it now. 

It never came. What he heard instead, was a loud thud, and the clatter of a gun falling to the ground. Liam opened his eyes slowly, and there was Monroe, unconscious at the feet of a certain Theo Raeken, looking slightly scared of himself. 

“I didn’t really want to have to deal with the children on my own. Not sure I could pull off being a single parent.” He shrugged and Liam laughed and flung himself into the chimera’s arms. 

“Mom you saved us!” Nolan sprinted and flung himself on top of the couple. 

“I will wake her up and make sure she shoots you if you continue with that.” Theo glared at the boy, who just winked disturbingly. 

“So, what are we going to do about her now?” Corey asked as the rest of them appeared, Mason hugged Liam, glad he was safe and Brett took a wriggling Nolan into his arms. 

“Leave her here?” Lori offered. "I doubt any of us, well maybe bar Theo, have the stamina to kill her. As killable as she is." 

“I think so? It may be our best bet to be honest, we don’t have anywhere to keep her like hostage.” Liam ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll call Scott, seeing as she’ll probably recruit what small amount of back up she has left and take another shot at us once she wakes up.”

“We could chain her up somewhere?” Gabe suggested.

“Kinky.” Alec laughed.

“Time and place Alec. Read the room.” Theo activated Mom mode again.

“I’ll call Scott when we get back to the room. In the meantime, help me get her back in her car.” Liam heaved the woman off of the ground, Brett and Hayden assisting, and they placed her gently onto the leather seats of her Toyota parked a few yards away. Theo grabbed the gun and flung it into a far away bush, then nodded proudly.

“Daddy, is she going hurt us?” Nolan pouted once they’d walked back to their pack.

“Do you mean Liam or Brett?” Hayden laughed and this time it was Liam’s turn to glare at her. “That’s kinky as fuck.”

“I don’t think she’ll find us again Nol.” Liam lied through his teeth, “but what I do know is that you and Alec need to get some sleep. And whoever’s supplying the alcohol on this trip needs to stop.”

“Ok Dad.” Mason rolled his eyes and Liam gasped.

“Even you Mase?!”

“Embrace the dadness.”

“At least you’re not the Mom.” Theo sighed and Lori just poked him playfully.

“I want pizza.” Alec cried out randomly. 

“Margherita or nothing. Anything else is plain offensive.” Gabe said. 

“That’s basic as fuck. We all know the obvious choice is Hawaiian.” Lori shook her head. 

“What the hell is wrong with you guys, Liam just barely escaped with his life and this is what we’re discussing?” Corey questioned.

“Let’s refrain from using the h word Corey.” Theo snarled.

“Dude. Chill.” Mason laughed.

“You’re right Corey. We’ll get back to the motel, then we can continue this discussion, because pineapple on pizza is a crime.” Liam replied, and Lori stuck her tongue out in response to the pineapple comment.

They made it back in a record time of twenty minutes, they didn’t want to be around when Monroe woke up. Apparently, much to Liam’s despair, Theo and Liam’s room had been elected meeting spot, and Theo had shoved everyone off the bed that had attempted to sit there.

“So are we ordering pizza or not?” Hayden huffed, she’d gotten comfortable on their bed before Theo had practically launched her onto the floor.

“Hang on, Liam’s on the phone to Scott.” Theo replied. Liam had been dialling Scott’s number for a solid five minutes before an absolutely terrified Scott had picked up.

“Liam? You alright? What’s wrong?” The pack could hear Scott’s worry through the phone. Liam calmed him down, and began to explain.

“So, it turns out this pack is full of absolute morons.” Brett raised his eyebrows at the teenagers sat in the room.

“Rich coming from you Talbot, your boyfriend literally nearly got us all killed.” Hayden clapped back.

“Are we going by last names now Romero?”

“Can we go by code names instead? I’ll be Nolan is the best, Theo will be Mom, Liam will be Dad, Brett will be Daddy, Hayden will be scary girl, Alec will be scary guy, Lori is softie that I love, Gabe will be silent but deadly, Mason is smarty pants and Corey is mr invisible.” Nolan slurred confidently and everyone groaned.

“I don’t approve of the daddy kink Nolan.” Liam hissed, overhearing, which gained him a confused “what the-?” from Scott, still on the phone.

“I personally like Nolan’s idea.” Mason nodded at the boy, who had now decided that he was going to abruptly change to emotional drunk and was lying face first on the wooden floor, crying softly and singing Ed Sheeran.

“That’s just because he called you smart.” Lori pointed out.

“Is he wrong?” Mason smiled, “I mean, I’m the only one with more than three brain cells here.”

“I’d like to think I could match you.” Theo smirked from on top of the empty bed.

“Ok, let me rephrase that. I’m the only smart one that is 100% trustworthy."

“Oof.” Alec snickered. “He got you there.”

“Fuck off Alec.” Theo growled. 

“Mom, stop with the language, you’re going to make Dad mad.” Nolan sobbed from the floor. “And then I’ll never get any pizza.”

“Back to my original point, that you guys didn’t succeed in not proving, you’re all morons. Pineapple on pizza? A sin.” Brett continued and his sister looked horrified. “But here’s the real deal breaker: sleep with socks on, or off?”

“Off, is that even a question? If you sleep with socks on you’re fucked up.” Theo shook at the thought. 

“I may or may not sleep with socks on...” Corey admitted. 

“What the hell?!” Lori looked appalled and Theo batted his eyes as if he was hallucinating. 

“You psychopath.” Hayden spat. 

“I get cold.” Corey defended himself. 

“That’s wrong.” Gabe said, eyes wide, “but I got one. Ross and Rachel, toxic, or not?”

“Toxic as fuck.” Alec spoke up from the floor, where he’d joined Nolan in an Ed Sheeran sing a long. 

“I think they matured well.” Mason shrugged, to which Brett, Theo and Lori nodded. “Besides, Alec, you have no say in relationship matters. You and Gabe still haven’t admitted your feelings for each other, and it’s getting really old.”

“Barf. Feelings.” Alec gagged, then actually threw up, all over the floor, and Nolan jumped away into Brett’s arms in horror. 

“Everything alright?” Scott came again, concern seemingly permanently present in his tone. 

“Apart from what I told you already, yep. Just the kids- shit.” Liam cursed and Scott choked. “I mean the pack being idiots. I got to go.” 

“You do you. Stiles and I will be there tomorrow to try figure out what the hell we do now. Bye Liam.” Scott hung up and Liam sighed at the vomit coated Alec. 

“And this is why we’re banning the consumption of alcohol.” He went into the bathroom to begin cleaning up after him. 

“Is Dad mad at Alec and I?” Nolan pouted and Brett kissed him lightly on the mouth. 

“No Nol. Dad is always like this.” Brett reassured him. Nolan sighed contentedly and lay back in the werewolf’s arms. 

“So Scott and Stiles are turning up tomorrow Li?” Theo asked. 

“Yep, not for long, but yeah. Promise me you and Stiles will behave.” Liam raised his eyebrows and Theo nodded reluctantly. 

“I hate to ruin a good Mom and Dad moment, but is the pizza thing happening or can Lori and I get some sleep?” Hayden interrupted. 

“We’ll do it tomorrow, Stiles wouldn’t want to miss pizza night.” Mason decided and Liam nodded in agreement. “Corey and I are gonna head back, good night guys.” They got up hand in hand and walked out the door, Gabe and Alec and Hayden and Lori hot on their heels. 

“You guys going to leave or?” Theo asked Brett and Nolan, who had begun making out on their floor, much to Liam’s distress. 

“My eyes, my child used to be so innocent, god damn you Talbot.” Liam yelled and threw a pillow between them. “Out. Now.”

“You just admitted you’re my Dad.” Nolan wiggled his eyebrows, “woah, my eyebrows are like caterpillars, look Brett!”

“I’ll get him showered. Good night guys.” Brett sighed fondly and ushered the dancing boy out the room. 

“I hope you’re not going to be in that shower with him or so god help me I will hunt you down Brett!” Liam yelled hastily as the door swung closed. “They grow up so fast.” 

“You’re not doing a great job with the whole, ‘I’m not your Dad’, thing babe.” Theo grinned and Liam shoved him playfully. 

“Shut up jerk. You’re still the Mom.” 

“As much as I hate it, that’s already been established.”

“Well, I love it.”

“Mom kink, wow.” Theo smirked and Liam jumped on top of the chimera. 

“Son of a bitch. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“There’s no taking it back now baby wolf.”

“I hate you.” 

“You love me.” 

“I love you. Thank you for saving my ass from Monroe.”

“Meh, the bitch deserved it.” Theo laughed and sighed happily as his boyfriend curled up into his arms. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I managed to make this one a little bit longer, seeing as the next one may take a while to be uploaded. You would've thought quarantine would give me loads of time, but I guess fucking not. Hope you guys enjoyed anyway x


	5. Bitch I don't have a gay cousin.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sciles come to save the day, and are frankly scarred for life.

“There she is.” Theo raised his eyebrows as Roscoe appeared, sputtering slowly down the road, her bumper covered in duct tape and mirror cracked. The pack had gathered outside the motel, which looked frankly awful in the light of day, in anticipation of the Alpha and his best friend’s arrival. “Stiles and that Jeep, he spends more time with her than his own girlfriend I swear.” 

“Doesn’t Liam spend more time with his history books than with you?” Corey questioned stifling a laugh at Liam blushing guiltily. 

“Oh that’s not new, he cleaned them regularly whilst we were dating. He’d often blow me off in order to do so.” Hayden shook her head.

“In my defense, I have allergies, and dust gathers.” Liam bluffed hastily.

“You’re a werewolf dumbass. You don’t have allergies, and even if you did, you don’t clean anything else.” Mason added, a smug smile plastered on his face. 

“I do too.”

“You really don’t. I do all the cleaning, cooking and laundry around here.” Theo shook his head at the beta.

“You never disappoint us in living up to your mom title do you Theo?” Nolan patted the chimera on the shoulder, who jerked away.

“You’re not to bring that up in front of Stiles.” Theo glared at the entirety of the grinning pack.

“What’re you gonna do, ground us?” Alec smirked. 

“I swear to god Alec.” Theo growled and Liam put a hand on chest as the Jeep parked, and a disheveled Scott and Stiles struggled to get out without breaking the doors. 

“Liam, thank god you’re alright!” Scott ran forward to embrace the beta tightly. 

“You’re never to go anywhere without us ever again.” Stiles fussed, dusting down Liam’s jacket and examining him carefully for any sight of a bruise or scratch. Theo raised his eyebrows even higher, and Mason smiled. “Theo.” Stiles said curtly, noticing Theo’s expression. 

“Stiles.” Theo parroted in an equally unpleasant tone. 

“How are you?” Stiles smiled, or attempted a smile, it turned out more of a grimace. 

“Fine thank you.” Theo curved his mouth, in what again turned out looking remarkably more like a grimace, for a split second to be polite, before returning to his solemn expression. 

“Great! We’re all caught up then.” Liam laughed awkwardly, slipping his hand into Theo’s who eased up at his touch. 

“Give everyone else a minute Dad.” Nolan scoffed, and Scott and Stiles looked highly concerned. “Hey. It’s me. Again.” Nolan waved casually, as if he definitely hadn’t tried to kill Scott not long ago. 

“Lovely to see you putting your skills to a better use.” Scott nodded politely. 

“Ok, Scott and Stiles remember everyone I’m sure, although knowing Stiles, he really is as dumb as he looks so who knows, let’s just get to the point, then they can leave.” Theo looked Stiles dead in the eyes, which were rolled in response. 

“Jesus Mom, I thought you’d be the polite one of us.” Hayden poked the young man playfully, and boy if looks could kill, Hayden would already be five feet deep in the dirt. 

“Um, Mom?” Scott questioned carefully. 

“Every pack has a mom. It’s normal.” Brett shrugged in response. 

“We don’t have a pack mom.” Stiles laughed scornfully, just to be stared at by practically everyone in disbelief. “Oh shit. I’m the pack mom. 

“Everyone has a gay cousin.” Alec laughed. 

“Bitch I don’t have a gay cousin. Oh shit, I am the gay cousin.” Nolan finished and they rolled around on the floor with laughter. 

“I-“ Scott started. 

“Vine quotation. It’s a daily occurrence.” Lori shook her head at the two boys, wheezing hysterically. 

“I’ve learnt that it’s just best to stop asking questions at this point.” Mason told an honestly terrified looking Scott and Stiles. 

“What is it with Liam and making his pack mainly consist of people who’ve tried to kill us?” Stiles asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose. 

“Liam is our gay Dad who married our gay chimera Mom, and then adopted a bunch of gay kids with murderous tendencies.” Nolan stated as if it was a fact read from a book. Stiles choked, Theo blushed and Liam sighed, disappointed in the pack’s inability to not embarrass him, ever. 

“I can see why you need our help Liam.” Scott struggled to laugh. “We-“

“If Liam is everyone’s dad then hasn’t Hayden technically dated her father?” Stiles interrupted, thinking out loud. 

“You make a good point.” Gabe agreed.

“Ew, no, that’s no.” Liam grimaced at the thought, “and how many times do I have to tell you Gabriel that you’re not allowed to comment on anyone’s love life until you sort out your own.”

“Dad’s using full names, shit got real.” Alec whispered.

“Don’t you start Alec, I have plenty to say to you too, don’t you worry.” Liam glared at the teenager. 

“I don’t even want to know at this point.” Scott sighed. “Actually, screw it, what?”

“Basically, everyone’s relationships are totally fucked up.” Theo began explaining as Liam calmed down. “No one even knew Lori and Hayden weren’t straight before Liam and I heard them fucking, Brett and Nolan are disgustingly cute, Mason and Corey are well, Mason and Corey, Liam and I have somehow been elected parents, and have had literally no privacy since, and Alec and Gabe are, and I quote ‘friends with benefits’, which I don’t think is awful but my boyfriend begs to differ.” He finished and Scott and Stiles just stood there, jaws hanging wide open. 

“You don’t think it’s that bad?!” Liam turned on his boyfriend angrily. 

“Sorry, I mean, totally disappointed in you Gabe, Alec.” Theo corrected himself. Liam smiled approvingly and kissed him gently on the mouth much to Stiles’ discomfort. 

“You know what, I regret asking.” Scott decided, to which Stiles gave him a ‘no shit dude’ look. 

“I don’t, I, you, well…” Liam stuttered. 

“We get the job done.” Mason shrugged. “Even if half the time everyone’s gay panicking. That happens a lot too, be warned.”

“We trust your decisions Liam. We trust you know what you’re doing.” Scott placed a hand on Liam’s shoulder.  
“Apart from the whole dating Theo, I still don’t approve of that.” Stiles jumped in to add, and Theo growled lowly. 

“So, we still on for pizza?” Hayden asked impatiently. 

“You know they came here to help us with the Monroe shit Nolan dragged us into babe, not to eat pizza.” Lori laughed at her girlfriend. 

“Um, excuse me? Pizza first, hunters second, always.” Stiles scoffed. 

“I like him.” Nolan grinned. 

“Who doesn’t Nolan, who doesn’t?” Stiles sighed cockily. 

“Theo.” Theo glared at him. 

“Mom versus Mom, the ultimate battle.” Brett announced. 

“Yeah, forget us versus the hunters, this will be the battle of the century.” Alec rubbed his hands together excitedly. “Now who to place the bets on?” 

“Theo.” Liam smiled sweetly. 

“Didn’t he drink the last coke?” Corey remembered. 

“Stiles.” Liam grimaced. 

“Liam, THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN’T FUCKING LOVE YOU.” Nolan pouted sincerely. 

“Vine?” Scott asked. 

“You know it.” Lori replied. 

“Anyway, there will be no Mom versus Mom battle, because Theo and I aren’t children.” Stiles settled, and everyone that had drawn out their wallets groaned in disappointment. 

“My truck and Roscoe, race you to the gas station and back.” Theo offered, holding out his hand. 

“You’re on Raeken.” Stiles shook his hand and they both sprinted to their vehicles. 

“Liam, don’t let the kids do anything dumb while we’re gone!” Theo shouted as both him and the human disappeared into the horizon. 

“You’re a bad Mom.” Nolan screamed back. “Now who’s going to pay for the pizza?”

“I’d be honoured to pay if that’s cool with you guys. It’d be great to get to know your pack better.” Scott placed his arm around his beta. 

“Damn, someone else who actually carries money with them that isn’t Theo.” Alec’s eyes widened. “I like this.”

“Scott is one hundred percent better than Mom at everything though.” Hayden scoffed. 

“But who’s better in bed is the real question?” Brett winked, and Lori smacked him on the arm. 

“I’d say Theo.” Mason decided. They all turned to look at him. “What? I’ve heard both Scott and Malia and Liam and Theo and based off of noise levels-“

“Ew Mason, thanks, that’s enough.” Liam winced. “That’s hella creepy.”

“I think Brett’s ultimately the best though, no question.” Nolan sighed wistfully. 

“Biased." Hayden pointed out. 

“I really don’t need to picture my kids in bed together, thank you Nol.” Liam sighed. “God I hate my pack.”

“Yeah I regret the whole, I want to get to know you guys better thing.” Scott shook his head, clearly traumatised. 

“We’re very close?” Liam offered. 

~~

“I totally won Stilinski.” Theo rolled his eyes at the human who was busy stuffing his face with pizza on Theo and Liam’s bed, which had, yet again been elected meeting spot. Theo had tried multiple times to heave him off, but Stiles had refused, and there was no way of getting him to change his mind now. 

“Yeah right.” Stiles shot back, spraying the bed with crumbs. 

“Ugh, son of a bitch, Stiles, they don’t change the sheets here every night you know?” Liam sighed and Stiles jumped off the bed in disgust. 

“You’re telling me you and Theo have-“

“Yes. Get over it.” Theo grinned evilly and Stiles moaned. 

“So, are we going to actually come up with a plan, or are we going to wait until Liam actually gets killed?” Mason asked, looking around at his pack. Scott was comforting a shaking Stiles, Brett and Nolan were, surprise surprise, making out again, Hayden was on her phone, and in general no one seemed to be very, you know, concerned about the hunters trying to murder them all. 

“I have a plan. Kind of.” Scott admitted. “But I can guarantee Theo’s not going to like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I can't make myself write for longer ahah, but I felt I needed to update, I was going to yesterday, but I got too caught up in the reunion. Lil Dyl Sprayberry really broke all our thiam hearts by outing himself as a Layden shipper.   
> Comments are always appreciated x


	6. Now that's kinky.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is explained, and Scott and Stiles regret ever coming.

“Well, technically I came up with the plan. Scott listened.” Stiles popped his head around the alpha, who sighed in the classic ‘not the time Stiles’ manner.

“So what’s this about Theo not liking it? Because I am already one hundred percent on board with that.” Alec vigorously nodded, making sure that his approval was obvious. He promptly earned the mom stare™️.

“It kind of involves Theo being kidnapped. But not actually.” Scott tried to explain, leader stance initiated to an extent, seeing as he was sitting cross legged on the grubby floor of two teenagers’ motel room. Theo’s eyes narrowed at Stiles, who looked away innocently. Of course it’d been Stiles who’d come up with the plan.

“I mean, he does get liked chained up and everything, the whole deal.” Scott continued.

“Kinky.” Hayden pointed out, to Liam’s disapproval, and her girlfriend shook her head at her. Don’t bring up Mom and Dad’s kinks in front of Grandma and Grandpa, that was common knowledge. Scott and Stiles had been given the pleasure of being accepted into the makeshift family, which neither seemed to be ecstatic about funnily enough, and had been christened the grandparents, which again didn’t sit well with either of them. Not that they had much of a say in such crucial matters when it came to the literal cult that is the puppy pack.

“He’s not going to be in any serious danger though.” Stiles rolled his eyes, clearly disheartened by Scott’s rules.

“Disappointing.” Gabe muttered.

“Now you’re getting it.” Alec smiled proudly.

“I think that it’s positively hilarious that you’re all disappointed, but wouldn’t last one day without my laundry abilities.” Theo scoffed, “children.”

“So once he’s been ‘kidnapped’, what do we do?” Mason asked, clearly eager to keep the conversation on track. Like that was possible. 

“We’ll have the element of surprise. That is, if everyone can remain sober this time.” Scott raised his eyebrows at Nolan (who was braiding Brett’s hair, his face was contorted in pain) and Alec, who just raised his eyebrows back. 

“Rude.” Nolan pouted, “I just have a very low alcohol tolerance.”

“WE KNOW.” Everyone shouted in unison in response to Nolan’s number one most overused excuse. 

“It’s true...” He trailed off, face the exact replica of the 🥺 emoji. 

“Back to the whole ‘I’m going to be chained up with a werewolf hunter thing again’?” Theo stared at the alpha. 

“You’re definitely sure he’s not going to get hurt?” Liam asked worriedly. 

“Aw, Li, that’s so sweet.” Lori grinned warmly. 

“Oh no I won’t miss him, I just don’t want to be stuck with you lot on my own.” Liam shrugged, waving his hand over his pack from where he was perched on his bed. They certainly were an odd bunch. There was the beta/alpha wannabe, the chimera who’d tried to murder them all, the only sensible human, the freaking chameleon, the literal stereotype of jock werewolf, the hunter, the other hunter who had been deemed baby, the wolf who previously dated her dad, and the other only sensible one, her girlfriend. Jesus. “Not sure I could survive it.”

“Me neither.” Brett laughed coolly. 

“But you don’t find me annoying, right babe?” Nolan frowned adorably. 

“I’m not sure there’s one person in this room that doesn’t find their significant other annoying as fuck.” Corey admitted. Theo, Lori and Alec nodded in agreement immediately. 

“So we’re going to make Monroe think she won this round? Or, you know, is a step closer to doing so?” Gabe drew the attention back to the conversation. 

“Exactly. They ‘successfully’ acquire Theo, torture him, whatever they need to do for him to reveal Liam and the packs location. Preferably torture though.” Stiles sped up hastily as Theo smiled in the least friendly way you could possibly manage. “When in fact as soon as Monroe enlightens us of this false victory, and we all know she has a flare for dramatics, so inevitably will, Corey, Brett and Liam will have broken in, taken down the hunters, and be ready to a) untie Theo, or don’t, you know, I’m not fussy.”

“Nah, I’m sure Liam already has a fair amount of experience in doing such things.” Hayden winked interrupting and Alec snorted. 

“And b) take one of Monroe’s hunters hostage, for our own interrogation purposes.” Stiles finished, pausing for dramatic effect. 

“Oh snap, sis really said uno reverse card.” Nolan wheezed. 

“HoW tHe TuRn TaBlEs.” Alec giggled, not breaking eye contact with the human. 

“Am I supposed to understand this?” Scott asked his beta amidst the chaos. 

“You’re our grandad. So no, not really.” Hayden stated bluntly, biting her nails. 

“So what do you think?” Stiles prompted, overflowing with excitement. 

“As long as you leave me there long enough to talk shit about Monroe to her own face, then I guess it’s alright Stilinski.” Theo shrugged, maintaining his ‘but I don’t actually care’ expression. 

“He totally likes it.” Stiles preened. 

“So, what references do I have to get to understand what they’re talking about?” Scott was still seemingly fixed on the chaotic, confused mess that was Nolan, Alec, and their weird references. 

“But can you ever truly understand us?” Nolan wiggled his eyebrows mysteriously. 

“As your concerned father I vote no.” Liam replied. 

“I second that as your concerned mother.”

“Boyfriend.”

“Previous murder buddy.”

“I understand you.” Alec grabbed onto Nolan’s hand supportively. “I will always understand you.”

“Next thing I know you’ll be on your way to murder me.” Nolan giggled, and they both gasped for air as the second fit of hysteria began.

“Yes. ‘I’m on my way to murder Elena.’ The classic.” Lori assured a slightly perplexed Scott. 

“I swear to god these kids will be the death of me.” Liam moaned. 

“Hey Dad.” Alec sat up seriously. 

“Mm?”

“Every time you yell at us you should put a penny in your no yelling sock, and soon you’ll have a weapon to beat us with!” He squealed, smacking the floor with his hand as he practically flopped around like a dying fish on the ground. 

“Did he just out himself as wanting to be beaten?” Brett asked in worry. 

“Now that’s kinky.” Corey wagged his finger. 

“And there was me thinking Corey couldn’t stoop to their level.” Liam sighed. 

“Welcome to the dark and obviously superior side.” Hayden winked. 

“The whole knocking people out kink seems like something you’ll have to look into Gabe.” Brett glanced at the blushing boy. 

“Don’t both Liam and Theo have a punching kink though?” Lori added. 

“I think we should’ve just let Liam deal with Monroe on his own, I regret coming here.” Scott whispered to his best friend as Theo and Liam began their fiftieth lecture on why kink shaming wasn’t tolerated in this cult.

“We could go now, I’m sure Liam’s got this under control.” 

Liam squealed and hid behind a bored looking Theo as Nolan pulled out a toy gun and began shooting the screaming werewolf with a light drizzle of water. 

“Who are we kidding? He definitely needs our help.”

“Oh yeah one hundred percent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry that this is so much shorter than usual, it's kind of a filler chapter, I just felt I needed to update, so here it is and I hope you enjoy regardless :D
> 
> (this was again written at 3am so I apologise)  
> Comments are always appreciated xx


	7. That bar's real low.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Step one of the plan is initiated, and all goes well, for now.

“I’m still not too sure about this Stiles.” Liam bit down on his nails in anticipation as the pack sat squashed in the back of Roscoe, watching Theo wait behind a tree in the nearby clearing for Monroe’s hunters. They assumed she wouldn’t show up in person after what had occurred last time. Nolan was braiding a squirming Brett’s hair and Hayden was ordering chick fil a, in the middle of something quite important as per usual, and how it was going to reach them in the jeep he had no idea. Especially without alerting the hunters of their position. “It just doesn’t seem that safe.”

“You’re just jealous that someone else gets to tie up Theo instead of you Dad.” Alec scoffed.

“Ha ha ha, go fuck yourself Alec.” Liam growled at the boy; Scott’s eyes widened in disappointment and his head turned at the use of language. Like adoptive father like adoptive son. 

“Dad’s just a little upset because Mom is going away for a little bit Alec honey. It’s ok.” Lori soothed.

“A little?” Hayden butted in, muffling the phone speaker with her hoodie sleeve as she spoke, before bringing it back up to ear and ordering half the menu. 

“Fine. Very upset.” Lori amended her previous statement. 

“I told you already, I’m not worried about him, in fact I’m far more worried for the poor hunters having to deal with him,” Liam sighed, “I’m worried about you guys.”

“Aww, Dad actually cares about us.” Corey sniffed. “He isn’t just using us after all.”

“How could I be using you? Looking after you lot brings me absolutely no advantage. In fact, I was very nearly just murdered because someone,” Liam glared pointedly at a bemused Mason, “decided it was a good idea to supply Alec and Nolan with alcohol. Where are you getting that shit Mase?”

“Oh, this crappy corner shop by my house, it’s all really cheap because it’s really bad quality.” Corey explained and Mason smacked him lightly on the shoulder. 

“I told you not to tell him.” He hissed, and Corey promptly turned invisible. “Not cute Corey.”

“Well I’m glad Corey had good enough a conscience to tell me. Thank you.” Liam smiled gratefully, causing Corey to reappear. 

“I feel like a kid that just snitched on his sibling.” The chameleon groaned. 

“You are.” 

“Let us not compare Mason and Corey to being siblings, please.” Alec’s brow wrinkled. “They’re the all time otp. And that’s gross.”

“Wrong, Brett and I are so the superior ship.” Nolan snapped defensively. 

“Excuse me? Lori and I are actual goals.” Hayden smirked, arm around the reclined Lori’s waist. 

“You spend more time eating than actually communicating with her.” Liam dead panned, why must this only ever be the thing the band of misfits discussed? Relationships. It must come with the whole being really gay thing.

“I do not!” Hayden was interrupted by her phone pinging. “Aw, the chick fil a place is having to deliver back at the motel.”

“Proving their point there baby girl.” Lori kissed her on the cheek. 

“Baby girl, oh my fucking god I ship it even more!” Nolan squealed in Brett’s ear, causing the sensitive werewolf to wince. 

“Back to the whole I nearly got my brains blown out because Mason intoxicated the kids thing?” Liam sighed, exhausted, Scott and Stiles looking at him condescendingly. 

“I thought we’d finished that conversation now.” Nolan pouted, tied a completed braid with a rubber band tightly, and then clipped a rainbow clip behind Brett’s ear. Unsurprisingly, Brett looked really done with life. Liam didn’t know how he tolerated the young man’s bullshit 24/7. Then again, if Nolan was fucking Liam, he probably wouldn’t be complaining either.

“Is it weird that this really turns me on?” Nolan tilted his head in confusion, admiring his masterpiece. 

“Yes. Very.” Gabe nodded solemnly. “Of all the kinks to choose from baby Nol, that's yours."

“Doesn’t your boyfriend have a gun kink though?” Stiles pointed out, deciding for some reason that this was to be the only part of the conversation he would contribute to. 

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Gabe said forcefully, looking slightly saddened though, and Liam narrowed his eyes. He could always tell when something was off with his children. 

Shit, that had sounded weird. His pack was not a good influence on him. 

“Can I be?” Alec retaliated, not even bothering to look up from his gaming console he’d brought along to a highly dangerous mission, but then again, this is Alec we’re talking about, so go figure. Gabe choked slightly. 

“Um, yeah, totally, if that’s what you want.” He muttered, as if it were no big deal, however a small smile playing on his lips begged to differ. 

“You’re not to hurt him Gabe, or I hurt you.” Liam turned around to jab his finger into the ex-hunter’s chest from the passenger seat, which Scott and him had somehow both managed to squeeze onto. They were one hundred percent breaking every health and safety regulation ever written. God, his mom could never learn about this, or any of this trip in all fairness. 

“All the ships are canon, mwahahah!” Nolan giggled. 

“And I thought our pack was bad with getting feelings mixed up with business.” Scott shook his head, chuckling quietly. 

“No, trust me, the puppy pack knows no difference between the two.” Mason assured him. 

“We are CEO of the company.” Brett admitted. 

“Thanks for checking in we’re all still pieces of garbage!” Nolan sang softly. 

“Be quiet cutie, no one likes your references.” Brett shushed him fondly, running a hand through his hair. 

“As much as I hate to break up a cute Nett moment,” Liam began, then stopped and laughed at himself, “Actually who am I kidding? I love it, but my boyfriend is about to get abducted, so I’d appreciate it if you could all shut the fuck up now.” 

They all snapped out of their false paradisiac state immediately, and hurriedly gathered to look out the windows. There were two burly hunters, wearing the cliché leather jackets, sauntering down the cobblestone path casually, Liam assumed they’d been instructed to appear totally innocent. 

Theo turned back to look at them, Liam nodded reassuringly while Alec just stuck his middle fingers up, then shuffled slightly to the left, so a sliver of his pink hoodie was visible to the hunters from the birch tree he was still crouched behind, being relatively subtle though, they needed to think Theo hadn’t been wanting or pre-empting his capture. 

‘Come on you thick pieces of shit, how long does it take, he’s literally twenty yards away from you.’ Liam thought to himself after five minutes, the hunters miraculously still hadn’t noticed Theo yet, he’d even practically fully come out at one point, yet still, nothing. Liam had spoken too soon however. 

“Psst, Helvar.” One of the men whispered to his accomplice, staring at Theo’s hiding place, and Theo, who had averted his gaze by now. “You see the kid too?”

“Isn’t that the Raeken one she told us about?” the other asked. 

“Looks like it. Just as handsome as he was in the photos.” Helvar let his eyes linger, a twisted smile forming on his face. Liam bit his tongue, hard, to stop himself from flinging open the doors and launching himself at the pervert. 

“Didn’t she say to take anyone we could find, I mean, he’s part of that Liam kid's pack if I remember correctly?” 

Yes, take him, please. Liam sighed, praying. This was just the first step, they were relying on this, there was no time for screw ups, reruns, or plan b’s. Like they’d thought of any anyway. 

“I think so.” The hunter nodded, pulled out his gun and raised his voice, “Hey kid!” Liam heard all his pack members’ breath hitch, and his heart pounded so loudly he was worried the hunters would be able to hear it from all the way over there. 

“Huh?” Theo sputtered, feigning terror as he pretended to jump at hearing their voices. He shook violently as he emerged into the clearing, his eyes were wide and his pupils were dilated with fear. Nice going Theo, keep it up. 

“Uh uh uh, hands where we can see them young man.” The other man barked out, stepping backwards as Theo walked forward, Liam could smell the hunter reeking of fear too. 

“Ok, ok, but I’m not going to hurt you sir.” Theo raised his hands slowly, voice wavering innocently. 

“Bullshit. That’s all your kind do.” The taller man laughed bitterly, cocking his gun pointedly. 

“That’s a bit mean.” Nolan whispered from inside the truck, lip quivering. He seemed to have forgotten he’d thought the same not so long ago. “And very disrespectful indeed.”

“He’s disrespecting a future US army soldier.” Alec wheezed, Nolan joining him and any hint of sadness was immediately erased. 

“You never told me Theo wanted to enlist in the army Li-“ Scott began, but cut himself off at the look Liam shot him, “Vine reference. Got it. I really ought to stop trying.”

“Agreed.” Stiles butt in. “Now shush, I’m trying to enjoy Theo getting shouted at.”

“I promise, if you don’t hurt me, I’ll tell you anything you want, and I mean anything.” Theo promised, hands still held high in the air above his head. The two men exchanged a glance. 

“As much as I’d enjoy killing him, she’d probably be happier having him in one piece, plus all the information he’d provide, right Fahey?” Helvar sighed in disappointment. 

“Shame, I’d like to have seen that pretty little face soaked in blood.” Fahey smiled sadistically, and Liam had never wanted anything more than to see his ugly big face soaked in his own blood. Had dating a psychopath really affected him this much? “But I agree he’d be more useful this way.”

“Glad to hear it gentlemen.” Theo smirked, “Now I’d appreciate it if you’d lower the guns being aimed at my head.” His confidence had reappeared at their decision clearly, he was indeed back to classic Theo. Just slightly less evil and manipulative. 

“You’re not in the clear just yet young man. Dial down the cocky.” Helvar rolled his eyes. 

“Of course, my apologies.” He bowed his head. Stiles heaved and Scott slapped a hand over the humans mouth. 

“Shut up Stiles, now is not the time.” Mason glared at him. 

“Ooh, here comes the kinky part!” Brett pointed back out the window, where a fed up, yet still feigning that fear he knew the chimera didn’t posses, Theo, was being chained up. “This turning you on Liam?”

“No Talbot, because I’m not thinking about sex while hunters are escorting my boyfriend away to fuck knows where.” Liam snapped. 

“He’s totally horny right now.” Hayden remarked and Stiles groaned. 

“Oh yeah, definitely.” Alec agreed. 

“So if we don’t know where they’re taking him, how are we meant to get him out, especially with one of her hunters in tow?” Mason asked concerned a bound Theo was bundled into the back of one of their cars. He turned back to wink at Liam, who blushed, and then they were gone, a trail of dust following. Step one complete. 

“And that’s why I planted a GPS in that very car.” Scott waggle his eyebrows proudly. 

“And that’s why you’re too good for the puppy pack.” Lori admitted. 

“That bars real low you know?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what this is anymore tbh


	8. How big is Liam's di-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo is in the car with the guards, and the puppy pack find Liam's dick pics.

“Ass in the car Raeken. Now.” The Fahey guy yelled, shoving Theo roughly into the back of his vehicle, which was in a terrible condition actually. Theo would recommend a good thorough clean and possibly even an entire MOT checkup, the windows were cracked and the steering wheel was peeling. Plus, don’t even get him started on the hideous quality of the leather on the seats, and the vomit inducing colour. He would rather die than let his truck reach this state. Oh god, there were even cigarette butts all over the car floor, he noticed as the door was slammed behind him. Liam had dropped a toffee wrapper once on the floor of his truck. He’d been forced to walk for a week. Meh, he’d gotten more exercise at least.

Enough about cars Theo, focus. So far everything was going to plan. Scott had successfully planted the GPS and the hunters weren’t too suspicious of the whole thing. Yet. Theo would’ve preferred them getting him out of there ASAP, but Monroe had to think that they hadn’t already known Theo was going to be taken, that they’d only known because she’d alerted them, she needed to think she had the upper hand. Then, once she’d called them, or however she wanted to contact them in telling them they’d abducted Theo, that’s when they’d come rescue him, taking one of the guards with them. Besides, it wouldn’t be too bad, right?  
He looked up into the rear-view mirror, where Helvar caught his eye, and his eyes flickered back down to his lap hurriedly. The human reeked of uncomfortableness, and glared back.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing. Nothing.” Theo shrugged, playing with one of the strings on his hoodie. I hope everyone’s alright, he thought.

“Weird kid.” Fahey looked disgusted, he smelled far calmer than his companion. Liam and the others ought to go for the Helvar dude.

“Weird, clever, call it what you like.”

“I call it weird.”

“Ok then. Each to their own.”

“No, I’m pretty sure everyone would agree with me.”

“Just drive and stop arguing with the teenager Fahey.”

~~

“You think Theo’s forgotten that he’s supposed to be texting us?” Mason asked worriedly, that had been another part of the plan, Theo had been told to text them (his phone was shoved up his sleeve as discreetly as possible) as soon as he was in the car. That hadn’t happened.

“Theo’s always on his phone though.” Nolan looked confused.

“No, no he’s not. He’s only on it when it’s something important.” Liam disagreed, pacing up and down the room, which they’d reconvened in post kidnapping, Scott wearing his trademark look of concern. 

“He’s not when he’s with you, because he’s always making out with you.” Nolan defended himself.

“No, he’s never on it when we come over either.” Lori added.

“Well that’s because Theo actually likes you Lori, who couldn’t?” Nolan grew steadily more defensive.

“Aww, love you Noley.” Lori smiled.

“Uh, he doesn’t go on his phone when Mase and I are over.” Corey pointed out.

“Well, I-“ Nolan began, Brett cut him off.

“Nol, I think he just goes on his phone to avoid talking to you.” He stifled a laugh at the look on his boyfriend’s face. Nolan huffed at this and turned his back on no one in particular.

“Not a very good Mom.” He grumbled; arms folded.

“Anyways,” Liam ignored him, “do you think he’s alright?”

“He must have just forgotten, I’m sure it’s fine.” Gabe assured him.

“Yeah, Theo’s forgotten loads of things before,” Alec backed him up, “like, what time to pick us all up from school, or when to do our laundry.”

“Ooh, and how to be a good person and not a sociopathic murderer.” Stiles muttered bitterly. “What?” Scott sighed.

“Let me try texting him.” The alpha asked, uncurling his palm for Liam to place his phone in. 

“We better hope Theo’s phone is set to silent.” Hayden pointed out. 

“It’s Theo. He hates everyone.” Liam rolled his eyes. “It’s always set to do not disturb.”

“Not surprised there.” Corey nodded.

“I got to ask him to show me how to do that.” Brett said. Nolan looked more offended, if that was even possible. “What?”

“Maybe I should just stop texting you then.” Nolan challenged.

“Pfft, like you guys could last a minute without communication.” Mason raised his eyebrows. “You’re like Hayden and....” Lori perked up, clearly expecting her name, “food.”

“Ok that is so not true.” Hayden mumbled; speech muffled by the chicken tender she’d ordered from chick fil a.

“No that’s very accurate.” Lori nodded. “You and food are like...Mom and Dad and punching each other.”

“What-“ Scott tried.

“I will genuinely punch you all in a minute.” Liam growled.

“That’s child abuse.” Nolan sniffed.

“Besides, we could totally take you Dad.” Alec sneered.

“Oh really?” Liam turned on the younger werewolf sharply, eyes flashing. 

“Try me bitch.” Alec flashed his eyes back in response.

“Mom, can you pick me up, I’m scared.” Nolan whispered. Scott caught Lori’s eye. 'Reference? Yep.' 

“Speaking of ‘Mom’," Stiles butt in, “He’s typing.” He snatched the phone off the bed and scrolled through, everyone’s eyes on him eagerly. “Ew, Liam, remind me never to go through you and Theo’s texts again, I need to bleach my eyes.” Said eyes widened. “Oh my god is that your di-“

“That’s enough Stiles!” Liam squeaked, grabbing the phone out of the human’ hand, a furious shade of red.

“Hey, little Liam's certainly nothing to be ashamed of-“ Stiles nodded downwards suggestively.

“Kill me. Please.” Liam groaned.

“You’re such a hypocrite Dad, I’m not allowed to send dick pics but you are?” Nolan frowned.

“He replied!” Liam shouted, changing the subject rapidly.  
~  
Theodore 🥰:  
You are all incredibly paranoid. I’m fine, it’s all fine.  
~  
“Phew.” Mason sighed. Stiles snatched the phone back from the momentarily distracted Liam.  
~  
Me:  
Theo. How big is it?  
~  
“Stiles! Not now!” Liam yelled. Brett raised his eyebrows. “Not ever!”  
~  
Theodore 🥰:  
Uh Li? You alright?  
~  
Me:  
This is Stiles and you know what I mean.  
~  
Theodore 🥰:  
Give Liam back his phone.  
~  
Me:  
How big is Liam’s di-  
Sjsusuusid don’t listen to Stiles.  
~~  
“What are you laughing at kid?” Fahey demanded upon hearing Theo’s sniggering, and the chimera quickly shoved the phone back up his sleeve.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” The man narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

“Just your appalling driving skills.” Theo said coolly.

“Son of a bitch.”

~~  
“So how big is it?” Stiles asked for like the thirtieth time that hour, they were still waiting on Theo’s text confirming their arrival upon, well, wherever they were taking him. 

“Stiles. No. Just, no.” Scott looked disgusted. 

“Can I see the picture?” Alec asked, and Stiles showed him much to Liam's annoyance. “Woah. Nice cock.”

“I’m going to assume that was a reference given the accent, but in truth that’s probably what you would say anyway Al.” Hayden laughed. “And yeah, actually, it is.” 

“Hayden?!” Liam looked outraged.

“Theo’s there. It’s some sort of abandoned warehouse. The regular cliché. He says it’s a tad too shabby for his liking.” Corey interrupted what he knew would be an eventful conversation. 

“Typical Theo.” Brett laughed.

“Yeah well, let’s hope he won’t be there too long.” Liam grimaced.

“But seriously, nine, ten, what?” 

“STILES!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this is kinda a filler chapter and is lacking in humour :( hope you still like it


	9. Hashtag Dad things.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo bullies some guards and Hayden bullies Nolan.

“You know, if you were going to kidnap me I would’ve appreciated it if you could’ve found somewhere more...comfortable.” Theo looked disgusted at the lack of well, everything, in the cold, empty warehouse he had been shoved into. It was dark, pitch black even, and the walls were made of rusting metal. Plus, don’t even get Theo started on the floor, it was painted, well, barely, the paint was flaking off in alarmingly large chunks, a vulgar red colour. Quite garish really, and not remotely colour coordinated with the green-grey of the walls. A nice oak brown would’ve suited it quite well, and the walls could do with a lick of paint, maybe a slightly darker grey? Theo took immense pride in his interior designing skills, he could make any room look professionally done. And he had to, Liam’s room was absolutely appalling. Well, it had been before he’d starting dating Theo. Theo had seen to everything being removed and sanitised. Immediately. In general Liam’s hygiene had improved immensely post Theo. Pfft, who was he kidding, everything improves post Theo. And that’s why he was a good mom- boyfriend. Boyfriend. “Also you might want to give the floor another coat of paint. Or two.”

“You might want to be shutting up now.” Fahey growled, he smelled hurt. Aw, someone had actually put work into this place, how sweet.

“Meh, I’d rather have fun with this if I’m stuck in here.” Theo sighed, relaxing as much as possible given the fact he was still shackled up.

“And I’d rather kill you, but here we are.” The guard sneered in response.

“Like you could take me.” Theo scoffed. Now that he was in custody he had no need to act shaken or weak. Until they tortured him that was. But he hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

“I could so take you, you little runt.” The man rolled his eyes, but Theo grinned at hearing his heartbeat skip. It was so cute when people tried lying to him.

“Yeah right, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.” Theo examined his nails, smiling wider as he caught the distinctive scent of rage wafting up his nose. As he said, he may as well have fun with it. “Where’s Monroe? Too scared to show her precious face?” he taunted, as they continued walking him across the floor, over to a wall of barbed wire in the corner. How convenient? Theo had experience with these. They’d really taken time in planning this, he thought sarcastically. Idiots. They yanked harder on his chains at the snide comment.

“Where’s the boyfriend? Too busy killing innocent people?” Helvar, who was the quieter of the two, spoke up. Theo burst out laughing at this.

“Oh, Liam? I get that you’re against the supernatural in general, but Liam couldn’t hurt a fly. Trust me. He cried the other day because I stepped on a spider. He’s the one who asked me to get rid of it.” He rolled his eyes fondly thinking about the little beta. “And that was a bad comeback dude. Come on.”

“I didn’t think it was that bad.” The man sulked. 

“It was.”

“Oh.” He looked sad. 

“Helvar. Keep it together man.” Fahey looked exhausted. “Now let’s make this as painless as possible Theo.” He gestured to the wire wall, which they’d reached and were standing tentatively in front of. Ah, so they were going to tie him up. He wondered if they were actually going to torture him. Meh, he could handle pain. And besides, he would ‘give in’ before it got too bad anyways. 

“I’ll keep it as easy as possible if you do.” Theo looked him straight in the eyes. Fahey rolled his, and began tying a growling Theo to this wall thing. They really needed to put stocks in better kidnapping equipment, Theo felt as if this was literally a rerun of last time. Fair enough though, it was good for them, he had managed to get out last time. And if he could, Liam could when they came to aid his escape. Ok, maybe Liam couldn’t. But Brett would be able to. 

“That tight enough?” Helvar asked once their task had been completed, Theo was successfully tied to this wire wall monster. 

“No, tie it tighter, increase my pain, what do you think dumbass?” Theo snarled, arms behind his back and hair caught in the wire. Eugh, he’d have to comb that later. Theo couldn’t deal with tangled hair. Ever. “Now what do you want guys? You still haven’t explained why on earth I’m here. I’m kind of bored.”

“He’s remarkably calm, don’t you think?” Helvar whispered to his partner. 

“No, he’s just cocky.” Fahey snapped back. 

“Well, I have good reason to be.” Theo smirked. “Though you clearly can’t relate. When’s the last time you hit the gym Fahey?” his eyes flickered over the man’s figure. 

“Little bitch-“ he lunged forward and Theo grinned. 

“Fahey. Calm down.” Helvar commanded. “Now Theo, we’re just going to ask you a couple questions.”

“You can try.” Theo corrected. 

“Where’s Scott McCall?” Fahey demanded. Wow, such an obvious start. Even Theo could do their jobs better than them. Possibly even Nolan. 

“I don’t know.” Theo lied through his teeth. 

“Oh, Theodore-“ The taller guard started and Theo winced. 

“Don’t call me Theodore.” He said through gritted teeth. Only Liam got to call him that. 

“I’ll do what I please.” The man nearly lost his temper then and there. “And you do know.”

“Please, enlighten me then.”

“You’re dating Liam Dunbar, correct?” Helvar continued. 

“Unfortunately.” Theo chuckled. 

“And he’s Scott McCall’s beta, correct?” 

“Unfortunately.” Theo repeated. 

“So you should know where the alpha is.” The guard finished triumphantly as if he’d just had a scientific breakthrough instead of just putting together two very simple pieces of information. 

“Scott doesn’t trust me. I don’t know where he is.” Theo shrugged. 

“Bullshit.” Fahey cursed. 

“Ok, well Scott trusts his beta, does he not?” Helvar ignored his partner. 

“Scott’s an idiot, but he’s not that much of an idiot.” Theo laughed. 

“The beta will know where he is. Let’s go for him.” A childlike grin spread across the man’s face. “But how to get him?” 

“He’d probably come get me you know?” Theo offered slyly, running slightly off script. He’d originally been told to reveal their location, and while Monroe was trumpeting her victory, that’s when Liam and the others would come, unsuspected. However, Monroe hadn’t turned up. Relatively smart, even Theo had to admit. So even if they knew Liam was coming, he’d most likely be invisible courtesy of their resident chameleon, they’d knock Fahey out and take Helvar hostage. As Alec had said, how the turn tables. Huh, Theo thought, I came up with a better plan than Stiles’ in two seconds. He’d always known he was smarter than the human. “Too bad you guys are so good at this that he didn’t notice me get taken. That’s a shame.”

“But we could tell him. Call him or something. He’s a teenager, he’s gotta have a phone with him.” Fahey looked excited. Ah, humans. How easy it was to make them feel smart. Theo almost felt bad, ah, who the fuck was he kidding, he loved it. “Liam’s phone number?” he turned on Theo. 

“No.” Theo smiled. Sure, he was going to give them it eventually, but he’d be better off not seeming too easy.

“No?” Fahey snarled. 

“No.” Theo smiled wider. 

“How about I shoot you, and then you may be interested in telling us? Huh?” He stepped forward, gun loaded. Theo’s grin vanished. 

“Alright, I’m sorry, please don’t shoot me.” He whimpered, acting of course. Theo Raeken wasn’t scared of a little gun. “I’ll tell you, just please, don’t hurt me. Please.”

“Well that was easier than anticipated.” Helvar looked uncertain. 

“I told you I was scary.” Fahey grinned happily, and it took all of Theo’s strength to refrain from snorting at such a painfully untrue statement. “Go on then kid.” 

“His number’s-“

~~

“Ah!” Nolan cried out as Liam’s phone began vibrating violently on his bedside table. 

“Jesus christ Nol, you really are such a big baby.” Hayden snapped, head resting heavily on Lori’s lap. 

“She’s on her period.” Lori mouthed silently as explanation. Everyone just nodded, you didn’t mess with Hayden, ever really, and especially not during that time of the month. 

“Who is it Nolan?” Gabe asked. It was just the puppy pack now in the room, Scott and Stiles had temporarily gone back to Beacon Hills, demanding updates obviously, seeing as if Monroe found them the whole plan would be blown. Stiles hadn’t been thrilled, but wouldn’t let Scott go back on his own, and thus was forced to drive them back. Theo would be ecstatic to hear this Liam was sure. 

“No idea.” Nolan looked confused. 

“Can’t you read?” Mason asked. 

“Ok, excuse me, what is with the ganging up on Nolan today?” Alec sat up defensively. 

“Yeah, that’s kind of mean guys-“ Nolan began, sulking.

“He can read Mase, it’s just an unrecognised number.” Brett interrupted, explaining, and Liam grabbed his phone. 

“Well then we shouldn’t pick it up. Dad always says not to pick up the phone to unknown numbers.” Nolan grinned proudly, and Brett just shushed him. 

“Noley, baby, I love you, but we kinda have to pick it up. We’re waiting on a call from Monroe anyways.” Lori explained gently. 

“Thickhead.” Hayden scowled. 

“You’re being really mean Hayden.” Nolan pouted. “I’m just being safe.”

“Says the one who literally got us in this fucking mess.” Hayden quipped back. 

“I DIDN’T MEAN TO.” 

“Enough!” Liam yelled, shocking them all into silence. 

“Hashtag Dad things.” Alec snickered. 

“Now if you’d all shut the fuck up, I have a phone to answer.” Liam glared at them and put the answered phone to his ear. “Monroe?”

“What? No.” The man on the other end of the phone sounded confused and disappointed. “No, it’s me.”

“Theo?” Liam asked, thoroughly confused. 

“No, dumbass.” He heard Theo’s voice distinctly this time. Liam decided to put the phone on speaker, glaring at his pack to make sure they remained silent.

“It doesn’t matter who I am. We have your little Chimera.” The man drawled. They all glanced around the room, that hadn’t been the plan. “And I’d think you’d want to come get him before some tragic accident occurs, I wouldn’t want such a good looking young man to be even slightly damaged, would you?”  
Nolan gasped, scared, but Liam smiled. Ah, there it was. The new plan clicked immediately. Liam, Brett and Corey would go, expected though, and then they would abduct one of the guards upon arrival, knocking the other out previously. Ok, simple enough. Not too shabby for such a last minute plan, he had to hand Theo that.

“Where can we find him?” Liam asked, trying his best to sound furious. 

“I’ll text you it, hang on.” The tense atmosphere quickly disappeared. 

“Oh ok thanks man.” 

“No problem, dude. I know how annoying technology can be.” Liam’s phone pinged as the location came through. 

“I know right? Ok, I’ve got it.” Liam informed him. 

“Oh ok cool.” The man said politely. “Now hurry up.” His voice lowered again. Intimidating? Probably what he was going for. Comical? Yep. “I wouldn’t want the last thing Mr. Green Eyes here to have said to you be dumbass.”

“It probably will be anyway, he tends to call me that a lot. Anyway, we’ll be there soon.” Liam sighed and hung up. 

“So....?” Mason prompted. 

“It’s so on.” Liam smiled uncharacteristically evilly. 

“I don’t think dating a psychopath has been good for you Li.” Brett looked concerned. 

“Says the one who now knows pretty much every vine created off by heart courtesy of his boyfriend.” Corey raised his eyebrows. 

“As he should.” Alec looked offended. “He is now a man of culture.”

“And I thought we were going to do stuff like visiting museums on this trip.” Lori sighed. 

“Same Lori. Same.” Liam looked exhausted. “Maybe later?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are thoroughly appreciated, you guys make my day and it's nice to know people are still reading my garbage :)
> 
> I promise they will eventually do some normal road trip shit


	10. Gays, murderers and hypocrites.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nolan is lucky to be alive (although who knows if he still is) and Helvar already hates their pack.

“I don’t want you to leave!” Nolan pleaded, tugging on Brett’s arm, weighing the young man down alarmingly well given how, well, BIG Brett is. “Please don’t leave me with Hayden. She’s scary.” He lowered his voice in an attempt to whisper, seemingly forgetting the whole Hayden being a literal werewolf thing.

“Yeah, well I’ll give you a real reason to be scared of me in a minute.” She growled back, and Nolan squeaked and buried his face into Brett’s leg, he looked remarkably like a child being asked to leave his parent on the first day of school.

“Mason and Lori will be here. You’ll be totally fine.” Liam sounded more confident than he looked. “Nol, Alec, don’t provoke her and she won’t hurt you, Hayden, don’t hurt them. See, simple.” He waved his hand around, unconcerned.

“Mom’s better at these talks.” Alec looked grumpy at the inclusion of himself in Liam’s previous statement.

“Well, if Nolan would let Brett leave, then we’d be going to go get your mom- I mean Theo. Theo.” Liam glared at him.

“Wow. You weren’t kidding when you said Liam’s grumpy without Theo Lori.” Gabe looked uncomfortable.

“I never kid.” Lori looked proud. Everyone just stared and blinked at her. “Ok, maybe I like to play around with Nolan a bit. But we all do that.”

“Hey!” Nolan popped up from behind his boyfriend’s leg.

“It is fun.” Mason nodded.

“Yeah well Brett plays around with Nolan more than any of us.” Hayden winked.

“Eugh Hayden, I hate you. Stop encouraging them.” Liam groaned as Brett and Nolan made heart eyes at each other.

“I doubt that. You used to play around with me practically 24/7.” Hayden winked again and Corey laughed.

“I AM DONE WITH THIS CONVERSATION!” Liam put his hands over his ears.

“You did spend a lot of time sucking her face Li.” Mason pointed out, very unhelpfully. Hayden burst out laughing and Liam flushed. 

“I hate you all. Now seriously we’re going!” Liam ignored him and hastily and yanked Nolan off of Brett’s leg.

“Ouch.” Nolan sulked as he fell to the ground.

“That must’ve hurt like a butt cheek on a stick.” Alec nodded solemnly.

“It really did.” Nolan continued. “What if I’ve like, broken my elbow?” 

“Meh. I’m just gonna say it. I wouldn’t care if you broke your elbow.” Alec looked sad.

“Wow.” Nolan chuckled. 

“I-“ Gabe began, incredibly confused. 

“I’ve given up on you two. Corey, you ready?” Liam asked the seemingly absent chameleon, exhausted. “Corey? Wait, where did Corey go?” he looked around in confusion. Mason looked unimpressed and Brett raised his eyebrows.

“Boo!” Corey appeared behind Liam, hands on his shoulders, and the wolf jumped to an alarming height. The classic. Liam really should’ve seen that coming, it was indeed the oldest trick in the book. 

“Motherfucker!” Liam squealed (in a totally manly way though, totally) and Nolan looked ecstatic. 

“Uh uh uh Dad. Language.” He wagged his finger, a wide grin stretched across his face like a kid in a candy store. 

“I’m going to go get my boyfriend before he gets killed and I have to deal with you lot on my own.” Liam stormed out the room. “Kids.” He shook his head. 

“Promise you won’t hurt Nolan?” Brett asked Hayden, who had been eyeing Nolan up like a predator eyes its prey before they pounce. She wasn’t going to eat him though, she wasn’t sure how nice the teenager would taste. He’d probably be really gross, and taste like Brett and alcohol. 

“Whatever.” She nodded noncommittally .“I’ll try my hardest.”

“What?” Nolan shrieked.

“Bye guys!” Corey waved as him and Brett followed Liam out to the parking lot and into Theo’s truck. 

“GUYS?!”

~~

“I think this is the place?” Liam looked unsure as they pulled up round the back of some old warehouse. It fit the description he supposed.

“Theo wasn’t wrong when he said it wasn’t the most attractive place.” Corey agreed, “This is totally gross.”

“You’ve clearly never seen Nolan’s room then.” Brett laughed. “It’s a fucking tip.”

“I can imagine.” Corey nodded, “It’s probably your fault anyway, it’s most likely littered with your lacrosse hoodies.”

“That’s not an untrue assumption.” Brett admitted as they shut the vehicle doors behind them. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you how on earth you have so many of those damn hoodies Brett?” Liam asked. “I only got one.”

“Coach just likes me more.” (A/N: sorry I promise these won’t be a thing, just imagine they went to BHH) 

“Yeah right.” Liam scoffed and both Corey and Brett shared a disbelieving glance. “What?”

“He likes everyone more than you Liam. Even Nolan.” Corey had to bite his tongue in an attempt to refrain from bursting out in a fit of laughter at the shocked look on Liam’s face. 

“He likes NOLAN more than me?!” Liam whirled around angrily to face his friends. 

“So do a surprising number of people.” The chameleon shrugged. “It’s not that unpopular an opinion.”

“And this is Nolan Holloway we’re talking about? The one who’s constantly a drunk mess and/or making out with Brett? That Nolan?” 

“No the OTHER Nolan.” Corey rolled his eyes, “Yes, that Nolan.”

“How?”

“I also like Nolan more than you.” Brett added, unhelpfully. Corey shot him a ‘you’re not helping’ look.

“Yeah, well, I would too if he was giving ME orgasms Talbot.” Liam snapped, clearly offended by this revelation, that wasn’t really news to anyone but Liam. 

“So are we going to go get Theo or not?” Brett asked, ignoring Liam’s comment. 

“What?” Liam asked, confused, clearly still stewing over how on earth Nolan was more popular than himself. “Oh, right, my boyfriend has been abducted, yeah.”

“So he makes fun of Nolan and Alec for forgetting everything, but he himself has the memory of a fucking goldfish?” Brett whispered to Corey. 

“Our entre pack consists of gays, murderers and hypocrites.” The chameleon sighed. “Get used to it.”

“I am a werewolf. I can hear you guys. Clearly.” Liam cleared his throat. “The plan is that Corey goes in, knocks out-“ Liam paused at the uncertain look on his friend’s face, “Yes, Corey, with your fist, you’re not THAT weak, you knock out one of the guards, go for the taller one, Theo’s truck is kinda small, and then Brett and I will come and tie up the shorter one, make him come with us, untie Theo, and run fast as fuck back to the truck hoping we don’t get shot. Sound good?” 

“Not really, no.” Corey looked skeptical. 

“Ok, well that’s too bad.” Liam rolled his eyes. “Ready?”

“No.”

“Great! Go!” He smiled brightly as Corey, looking fed up, promptly vanished into thin air. “That never fails to amaze me. Fucking awesome.” 

They waited outside for about ten seconds, until they heard a loud “What the fu-“ and consequently an even louder thud which was what they assumed to be the guard falling to the floor. So Corey had succeeded. Impressive. Liam glanced over at Brett, who’s claws sprung out on command and Liam growled, fangs emerging. Being a werewolf was so fucking cool. 

They sprinted inside, and immediately scanned the situation. Corey was nowhere to be seen, although he was there, just doing his whole invisible thing, Liam would forever be jealous of Corey’s ability to vanish from any conversation needed. He could use such skills with his mess of a pack. On the floor lay an unconscious man, Fahey if Liam remembered correctly from last time they’d run in to the hunters, his dark skin was shining with sweat and was coated in clotted blood that had dripped from the top of his head. Damn, Corey was stronger than they had anticipated. Theo stood grinning, as per usual, when did he not have that stupid grin on his face, chained to some weird mesh wire wall. If Liam recalled correctly he’d been tied to one of those last time. Monroe really ought to step up with her captive entrapping equipment. The other guard was standing with a wide, proud stance, muscular, veined arms holding a (surprise surprise) gun, and eyes wide with what seemed to be a combination of both fear and distaste. These guys really relied on their guns a lot. Amateurs, in Liam’s opinion, guns were overrated. 

“You must be Helvar, correct?” Brett asked, eyes glowing a fierce yellow colour. The guard trembled, but kept his finger on the trigger. 

“I just wanted the beta.” Helvar spat at the two of them. “I want Scott McCall’s location.”

“No.” Liam smiled, bearing his teeth at the man. 

“No? What do you mean no?” The man laughed, incredulous. 

“I mean no. You wanna hear it in Spanish? Noh!” Liam remembered Stiles telling him about the time he’d used that line. Now probably wasn’t the most appropriate time for such things, but who could resist a good Stiles Stilinski line. The hunter looked unimpressed as did Brett. “What?” he hissed at his friend. 

“Now’s not the right time dude.” 

“It’s always the right time for Stiles quotes.”

“Who told you that?” Brett snapped under his breath. 

“Stiles?” Liam paused. “Ah.”

“Yeah ‘AH’ idiot. Now could we hurry this up, my hands are starting to hurt from being, I don’t know, TIED UP?” Theo cut in from where he was still connected to the wire mesh. 

“Stop bitching Theo, we’re about to get you out anyway.” Liam shut him down quickly, and the guard’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. 

“Uh, no, you’re going to tell me where Scott is, then I’ll give you back your precious chimera.” He looked uncertain though, eyes flickering between Brett and Liam, who had edged closer. 

“No. You’re going to untie me, and come with us.” Theo’s harsh, tired voice rang out again. 

“What?” the guard burst out laughing, “Oh you kids ARE funny, I’ll give you that.”

“Theo. Let. Me. Do. The. Talking.” Liam enunciated and Theo shrugged but shut up quickly. 

“Mom’s totally scared of Dad.” Brett snickered and both Liam and Theo shot him a glare that would’ve made Nolan cry. It had done so. Many times.

“Mom and Dad?” Helvar asked, momentarily forgetting the fact that there were literally two werewolves in front of him, waiting to attack.

“Don’t ask.” Liam and Theo snapped in sync. 

“I take back the whole ‘you kids are funny’ thing. You’re just plain weird.” Brett chortled behind his hand at such a true statement. “Now, tell me where McCall is.”

“How about YOU come with ME?” Liam offered, picking at his nails in an attempt to seem nonchalant, when I'm reality his heart was pounding like crazy. 

“What?” the guard nearly let his gun slip out his big hands in disbelief, that Theo kid hadn’t been kidding. “Why on earth would I do that?”

“BECAUSE, you’re outnumbered, BECAUSE, we could rip your head off with one bite, BECAUSE, who knows if what knocked out Fahey could come back, there are quite a few reasons actually.” Liam listed, staring straight into the now shaking man’s deep brown eyes. They were quite a nice shade actually, he had to admit. Reminded him of Stiles’. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” He shook his head adamantly, though Liam could tell he would snap in a second. It was like when Hayden said she was going on a diet, as soon as you put a plate of brownies in front of her, all promises and self-restraint vanished. 

“Ok. Well then Brett will just have to come to you.” Liam’s mouth stretched in a what was best described as evil smile. Theo would be proud, Scott would not. “Brett?” Brett nodded, growled, at such a volume thaf was practically deafening, highly unnecessary, but whatever worked worked he guessed. Brett had always had a taste for theatrics. He licked his lips and started towards the guard who squealed. Like a girl. He sounded like Nolan a fair bit. 

“OK! OK!” Helvar yelled, backing away hurriedly and nearly tripping over his own feet in the process. Cute. 

“Ok?” Liam prodded, as Brett stalked back towards the beta, eyes still glued to the human. 

“I’ll tell you everything.” He sighed in defeat. 

“That wasn’t the deal. You’re coming with us.” Brett growled. 

“Oh please. You’re never getting ME all tied up,” the man scoffed, as if he hadn’t nearly pissed himself two seconds ago, “but nice try.”

“We’re not. But Corey will.” Liam smirked as Corey materialised behind the man, and hastily wrapped a large rope around his waist, up to his shoulders, and bound his hands behind his back, as the man struggled and yelled. The chameleon tossed the gun to Liam, who fumbled around and very nearly dropped it. Theo sniggered. 

“Ok. You may have succeeded this time. Whatever.” Helvar shrugged as best he could tightly bound in the thick, coarse ropes. 

“Not whatever. This is a big deal. Our pack never does anything right.” Corey corrected him proudly. “I cannot wait to lord this over Nolan.”

“He will cry.” Brett added. 

“As much as I love discussing how much of a baby Nolan is, being untied would be nice, thank you.” Theo dead panned from where he remained bound. 

“So..... how was it?” Liam asked about thirty seconds later as he untied his boyfriend gently, Brett and Corey were busy explaining who the fuck this Nolan was to Helvar, who was most likely questioning all his life choices as they argued over what Nolan’s middle name was. 

“Terrific. I’ve had a blast.” Theo drawled sarcastically, stretching as the zip ties finally fell off from around his wrist and he was freed. Fucking finally. 

“I’m sorry.” Liam looked down guiltily. “I hope it wasn’t too bad.”

“I knew I was keeping you safe. I would have been tied up for all of eternity if it meant you’d be safe.” He slung an arm around Liam’s shoulder and kissed him gently on the mouth. “Besides, I got a break from the kids.”

“Scott and Stiles left by the way.” Liam told him as they made their way back to the truck. 

“YESSSS!” Theo grinned.

“But Stiles found my dick pics.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. He was impressed.” Corey cut in, him and Brett were shoving Helvar along, who looked incredibly out of place and out of his depth, plus very very disturbed. 

“It’s pretty marvellous.” Theo shook his head fondly, but stopped as he caught sight of the truck, jaw hanging open. “YOU BROUGHT MY TRUCK?!” he shouted, running up to stroke his vehicle as if it was his child. In all fairness, he liked it more than Nolan, so it kind of was one of his children to him. 

“Yeah?” Brett looked confused. 

“WHAT IF SHE GOT HURT?” He ran, checking every inch to make sure there wasn’t a single scratch or dent anywhere.

“That’s what you’re worried about?” The guards brow furrowed. “I don’t understand you kids.”

“You know for someone who doesn’t like Stiles, you sure act a lot like him.” Corey narrowed his eyes in suspicion at the fretting chimera. 

“I do not!” Theo was incredibly hurt at the proposition. Him and Stiles? Alike? He’d rather get sucked back into hell. 

“Hayden wants us to pick up McDonald’s on the way back.” Brett read off his phone. “There’s no, ‘how did the whole thing go? Is Theo alright? Did you guys get killed?’ it’s just her asking for nuggets.” 

“Tell her we’re only getting a six piece.” Liam sighed. 

“She texted back a sad face and said that if we got a ten piece she wouldn’t kill Nolan.” 

“I say we still just get a six piece.” Theo shrugged and Liam punched him playfully on the shoulder. 

“Wait, you kids kill over chicken nuggets?” Helvar’s brow furrowed as he was shoved into the back.

“It’s Hayden. She’d do far worse for chicken nuggets.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated, you guys convince me to keep going with this crap x  
> Also hayden is a fucking mood and I stand by that.


	11. Violence is not the answer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam's music taste is bashed and Helvar spills everything due to Hayden being an actual psycho.

“So….you wanna listen to music?” Liam offered, turning the corner sharply with a screech and Theo winced at the mere prospect of his precious truck being damaged in any way, shape, or form. He was quite the skilled driver, obviously. Why Liam was driving and not Theo, he had no idea. It probably hadn’t been the best idea they’d ever had. Then again, when did they ever have any good ideas?

“Meh.” Helvar shrugged, well, attempted to. He was still kind of tied up, sandwiched between Corey and Brett in the back seat, and was holding Hayden’s chicken nuggets. He didn’t seem that happy, but that was kind of justified seeing as he’d just been taken hostage. Although, he did seem remarkably calm and casual for someone that could be killed in a second. The puppy pack were not the most intimidating captors, to be fair. “Radio or aux cord?”

“Aux. Obviously. My music taste is just,” Liam brought his hand to his face and performed a sorry attempt at a chef’s kiss, “elite.” Theo scoffed, but turned his face hurriedly towards the window as Liam glared at him. “I know you think otherwise Theodore, no need to make such a show of it.”

“Your music taste is absolute shit Liam. Theo just likes you too much to man up and tell you.” Brett cut in, and Liam nearly crashed into a mailbox on the side of the road as he snapped his head round to glare at Brett this time. Theo groaned and Helvar looked alarmed. He had a higher chance of being killed by Liam’s appalling driving skills than by the werewolves he’d been taken prisoner by. 

“That’s so untrue.” 

“What’s the last song you played?” Corey asked. 

“Uh, some cool, manly rap song or something?” Liam said, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear innocently, heart thumping in his chest. 

“It was Steal My Girl by One Direction wasn’t it?” Brett sighed.

“Oh totally.” Theo nodded in agreement.

“No it wasn’t.” Liam pouted, “It was Drag me Down. And they’re good.” He trailed off.

“Is that the band with that Harry Styles kid?” Helvar chipped in and Corey, Theo and Brett all braced themselves for the inevitable furious rant they had coming.

“Don’t get me wrong, I would die for him, but One Direction is not just about Harry Styles. Yes, he has done best on his own. Yes, he was the figurehead for the band for the majority of the time they were still together.” Liam spat, practically foaming at the mouth and Theo shook his head fondly. He was used to Liam’s 1D rants. “But he wasn’t the only member of the band. Niall is a fucking legend and hardly anyone ever talks about him. Same with Louis, Liam and even Zayn. So don’t even start with that shit.” He slammed on the breaks, not realising they were about to go past a red light in the heat of his debate. That really hadn’t been a debate. Helvar hadn’t expressed an opposing opinion. But that was Liam and his love for Niall Horan for you. 

“I’m sorry about him.” Theo turned around to face the very fed up Helvar. “Actually, I’m really not. As chill a guy you are, we kinda can’t forget you tried to shoot everyone.” The guard just shrugged. He really didn’t seem too bothered. 

“What other bands do you like Liam?” Brett asked, hoping to continue the torment of the usually in charge Liam. It was getting kind of boring only ever bullying his boyfriend. Actually, that would never get boring. He was Nolan Holloway after all. 

“The cool ones.” He said tartly, eyes fixed on the road. 

“He constantly listens to the Vamps and Why Don’t We.” Theo answered for him. “It’s exhausting. They suck.” 

“Hey! Don’t pull that crap with me, you also like watching them because YOU practically salivate just glancing at each and every member.” Liam shot back and Theo flushed. “So there.”

“Ok, I’m just a gay mess, we know that, but at least I don’t actually like their music.” The chimera defended himself.

“Hey, at least it’s better than Nolan’s ‘music’. He is an Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift fanatic.” Brett laughed, and Corey looked horrified.

“Excuse me? Taylor and Ariana are like the sweetest, most unproblematic people ever. Don’t diss them like that.” The chameleon snapped.

“So, are we actually going to listen to any music?” Helvar tried to ask over the bickering. Maybe killing himself now would be easier than sitting in this car with these lunatics any longer.

“Theo can do it if his music taste is so superior.” Liam glared at his boyfriend as he pulled up Spotify. Somebody Told Me by The Killers begun blasting through the speakers. “Eugh. You’re so basic.”

“Ok Mr. One Direction fan. I’M the basic one. Sure.”

“I hate you people.” The only human muttered under his breath.

“Don’t worry, this is just Mom and Dad. Wait ‘til you meet Nolan, Alec and Hayden. You’re in for one hell of a ride.” Brett whispered. 

“Oh good god.”

~~

“Well. Welcome to our humble abode.” Theo opened his arms wide as they walked up to the front door of the motel. Lucky for them, it was so old the name plate hung up front had swung right off it’s hinges, meaning that their hostage wouldn’t know the name of the motel. Convenient? Definitely. 

“You kids live here?” Helvar asked, clearly unimpressed. It was a bit dilapidated and flaky, they had to admit. But still, it was nice enough.

“No, Theo’s being dumb. This is where we’re staying.” Corey explained as they walked through the lobby and into the lift. Thirty seconds later, the door of Liam and Theo’s room was flung open by a grinning Gabe.

“Thank god you guys are back. I was worried that Hayden would actually rip Nolan’s head off in a minute.” He sighed in relief, and caught sight of the wary expression on the tied up man being handled by in the doorway. “This Helvar?” he asked and Liam nodded. “Cool.”

“Nuggets?” Hayden leapt up from her spot on the bed (Theo looked disapproving of such a location) eagerly upon hearing her friends’ voices. Helvar gingerly handed her the box, and a wide smile spread across her face. “NUGGETS!” she spun around happily and Lori giggled. “Nolan, you’re safe again. For now.”

“Great.” A sheepish Nolan emerged from under the pile of blankets he’d been hiding under. Brett walked over and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“Missed you.” The werewolf smiled, and Nolan snuffled into his neck.

“I missed you too.” Nolan muttered.

“Barf.” Alec fake gagged. “You guys are gross.”

“Says the guy who ate candy from the floor earlier today.” Lori shot back. 

“It had a wrapper on!”

“My kids are embarrassing me in front of the hunter, oh my god.” Liam put his head in his hands. 

“Are we going to get some answers from this guy or are we just scarring him for life for no reason?” Mason asked, reminding everyone of their dire situation.

“Oh. Right, yeah.” Liam bit down on his lip. He hadn’t really thought about this part of the plan out in any kind of depth at all. To be honest, he hadn’t really thought out any of this plan very well. Hesitantly, he shoved Helvar (or at least tried to, the burly human was about three times Liam’s weight, he probably just wanted to get this over with so obliged) onto the bed, hands still tightly bound together and the pack gathered around him. What a terrifying image that must’ve been for the poor man, ten spotty teenagers looking down on him from above, in some satanic circle. Nightmare fuel for sure. 

“Um…” Mason stuttered, unsure where to begin the investigation. God, they were hopeless. Oh, wait, he had spoken to soon, Hayden drew in a deep breath as she began to speak. (a/n: slight warning for the next bit, blood and gore?)

“Tell us what Monroe’s planning or I tear apart each of your limbs as slowly as possible with my teeth, gouge out your eyes, shove them down your throat, and laugh as you choke to death on your own eyeballs and blood, if you’re not already dead due to severe blood loss.” Hayden smiled sweetly at the human, and her pack turned to gape at her, mouths hanging open. Nolan looked like he was about to cry and/or vomit. “What?”

“And we thought Theo was the psychopath. Fucking hell Hayden.” Brett blinked furiously. “You need serious help.”

“I wanna go home.” Nolan pouted, eyes watering. “Besides, Mr. Helvar is never going to tell us anything, so what’s the point?” 

“He will if he doesn’t want to die a slow, painful, gruesome death.” Hayden growled, Lori had to physically restrain her and Theo grinned proudly.

“I have taught the children well.” Liam smacked his boyfriend on the arm. “I mean, very disappointed Hayden. Violence is not the answer.” Theo amended, but winked at her subtly.

“Can she actually do that?” the usually composed Helvar asked, voice wavering ever so slightly, but he absolutely stank of fear. Maybe violence was indeed the answer?

“She put Nolan in a head lock earlier because he said that her hair looked nice.” Alec scoffed. “Of course she can.”

“It was really mean.” The human clung onto Brett’s hand. “I was just being nice.”

“Look.” Liam began, he had to try at least. He owed everyone that. “I know this is a long shot, and I know Nolan is miraculously right for once, you probably won’t tell us anything but-“

“I’ll tell you.” Helvar interrupted, and Liam’s brow furrowed in confusion. How had it been that easy? It was never that easy. Like, ever.

“What?” Theo laughed incredulously, the room suddenly silent.

“She terrifies me.” The bound human pointed at a smug looking Hayden, and Liam’s eyebrows raised in disbelief. Hayden had actually been useful. Huh. “I don’t want to be ripped to shreds thank you very much ma’am.”

“I’ll try.” She shrugged, and Liam beamed. Hayden’s murderous tendencies had actually come in useful. 

“So?” Mason prompted. “Monroe’s plans?”

“She hasn’t told me a whole lot.” He admitted. “She doesn’t really trust any of us one hundred percent.”

“Wonder why.” Theo smirked and Liam kicked him on the shin to shut him up.

“She’s working with, this…. this pack. Of creatures, like you.” He winced at the glare he received from Hayden at their referral as creatures. “Werewolves. Supernaturals.”

What? Monroe, the woman who dedicated her life to hunting and destroying all these ‘disgusting creatures’, was working with her sworn enemies? How? Why? 

“What the actual fuck?” Alec voiced Liam’s thoughts. “Why?“

“She’s using them because she thinks they’ll be able to take down Scott, she thinks they’re more powerful.” Liam scoffed. Yeah right. “See, they’re a very underground pack, they haven’t heard about the noble legend that is Scott McCall yet. She told them he was basically pure evil, a torment, that he was seeking them out to kill them all, that he wanted to be the alpha of most powerful pack, that he’d already torn apart multiple packs for this same reason. Then, once they take down the McCall pack, she’ll double cross them and kill them all. Easier, seeing as they’ll have developed a trust towards the woman by then and won’t see it coming.” He finished, and the pack shared a glance.

“You really are a little snitch, you know that right?” Alec scoffed, “but what a plan. Phew.” 

“It’s not a horrible idea.” Corey admitted. “I mean, it’s very, very morally wrong, but smart I guess.”

“And other words often used to describe Theodore Karl Raeken.” Nolan sniggered, and Theo, yep, you guessed it, shot him a withering Mom glare. “What? I called you smart!”

“Nolan’s so dead. Nice knowing ya bitch!” Alec giggled. “Bye feliciaaaaa.” 

“You got some kind of plan Li?” Mason asked, as Theo practically strangled Nolan behind them, Hayden cheering him on ecstatic as Lori and her brother tried to break it up. 

“Yeah.” The beta looked excited. “We’re going to make some new friends.” The room fell silent. Normal human interaction? The puppy pack? Never.

“I don’t need new friends.” Nolan grinned sappily, then realised his own ‘mother’ had just tried to murder him. “Ok, maybe I do.”

“What do you mean babe?” Theo asked.

“I mean, we’re going to go befriend this pack. Convert them to our side, you know? Make them be the ones to back stab Monroe instead. Shouldn’t be too hard, we’re persuasive people. Ish.” He beamed. “What do you think?”

“Oh good lord we’re all going to die.” Mason sighed. “But sure, I say we set off tomorrow.”

“Convince them to switch sides? Oh Liam. If someone’s trying to kill someone, they’re not going to change their mind. That’s ridiculous.” Nolan rolled his eyes. Everyone stared at him. “What?”

“Isn’t that what you did babe? I mean, you were trying to murder as all before you helped Liam.” Brett suggested gently. 

“Oh yeah.” Nolan smiled. “I was really good at that though.”

“Not something to be proud of there buddy.” Lori patted him on the back.

“Enough embarrassing me.” Liam shushed them. “Now, all we need are their details.” He turned cunningly on a dejected Helvar.

“I hate my fucking life.” The man swore under his breath. Theo chucked.

“Same dude.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick disclaimer that their opinions on music definitely do not reflect my own. at all. it's just what I imagine the characters' opinions would be. so yeah.  
> forgot to mention that I'm British so have no idea about american...stuffs in general. so forgive my spellings and slang.  
> also, there will be some OCs in the next couple chapters so please don't kill me. thanks, and I love you all so much.  
> -Mali, who is going to go sleep for hours.  
> a/ns are now at the end as requested :) sorry about that before


	12. Team Edward or Jacob?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nolan has a small accident, and Helvar finally spills all the tea.

“You kissed TRACY?!” Liam spun round to face a smirking Theo, arm round a bloodied-up Nolan, who’s left eye was swelling at a concerning rate. Brett was sulking broodily in the corner, Helvar’s hands were untied at this point because he had gotten thirsty, and Lori was picking pieces of chicken nugget batter out of her hair. Let’s go back a bit. 

“I told you, I don’t know much.” The guard had explained, to which Liam didn’t look too impressed. Then again, Liam nowadays had little to be impressed by. He was impressed when Theo didn’t make a snide comment around Stiles, he was impressed when Nolan and Brett refrained from making out in the back of the truck, he was impressed when Hayden managed to fit twenty marshmallows in her mouth all at once. What? As disgusting as it was, it was still pretty impressive. Apart from these small victories, Liam had seen too much to be impressed by anything anymore. And thus, it didn’t take a whole lot to leave him unimpressed. And it was safe to say, he was considerably unimpressed by this statement.

“You’ve got to know something, you’re not pretty enough to be that dumb.” He quipped back, and the guard grunted.

“Guess that’s why Nolan’s so dumb.” Hayden said with a snort. Everyone stared at her. Theo raised an eyebrow. That probably hadn’t been what she’d meant to say. 

“Well you just called me pretty, so actually you’re the dumb one.” Nolan giggled, dragging Brett to the corner. Liam hoped not to make out with thank you very much.

“But if I’m dumb, that must mean I’m pretty too.” Hayden smirked. 

“You’re both very pretty and very dumb, now sit down and let Liam do his job.” Lori settled, and both Nolan and Hayden huffed.

“Thank you, Lori.” Liam sighed, that fit his pack very well in general. They were all gorgeous idiots. “Now come on Helvar. We all know you’re hiding something in that big ass head of yours.” The man scowled.

“I know their names and what they look like. That’s pretty much it.” He admitted and Mason slumped down on the bed beside the man.

“And how are we supposed to find them with just that?” the boy groaned.

“Hey. We’ll ask Scott. He knows everything.” Liam assured him, a wide, innocent, almost Nolan-esque smile across his face, and everyone just smiled pitifully. For someone who was such a pessimistic character, he sure put a lot of faith in Scott.

“Ok Li. Sure.” Theo smiled, glaring warningly at his friends to ensure that none of them broke Liam’s little bubble of safety he associated with his alpha. They didn’t listen, of course, but it was worth a try.

“Scott barely does anything on his own though. Name one time he hasn’t needed help with a mission thing?” Alec pointed out, busy raiding their mini fridge specifically after Theo had told him not to, he wasn’t hungry, but the sense of adrenaline he’d get from disobeying his mother’s orders was enough motivation. Hayden would eat the motel shit; he’d just give it to her. “I’ve been here for a far shorter period of time than you guys, but even I know he relies on everyone else to save his ass most the time.”

“Ok, sorry, let’s not diss the guy who literally everyone here would be dead without. Besides, I don’t rely on him for everything.” Liam laughed, voice wavering, and looking as if he was about to punch a hole in the wall. “Now, let’s just get this over with so I can call him.”

“Daddy’s boy.” Hayden teased, then looked thoroughly disturbed. As did everyone else. “Not saying that again. Nope. I’m too gay for that daddy kink shit. Eugh.” She shuddered. 

“Scott is not my dad.” Liam narrowed his eyes at her, and Helvar looked relieved.

“I was about to say, I was very sure the McCall kid was only two years older than you. Phew.” He relaxed in the tough binding of the rope.

“Age doesn’t stop our adoptive parents.” Nolan shrugged off such a ridiculous proposition and turned back to Liam, “and Scott’s not your dad like you’re not ours. You are. He is.”

“Names? Pack? Hunter on your bed? The whole ‘he can hear everything we’re saying’ thing? GUYS?” Corey interrupted the seventh dad debate they’d had this week, voice a steady crescendo, shocking the room into silence. They stared at him.

“Intense.” Mason sniggered, and Corey disappeared to clip him round the ear. He reappeared smug as when Nolan got away with saying a swear word. “Rude.”

“Wait, which of you guys' bed is this?” Helvar looked uncomfortable.

“Not sure you’re the one in the position to be being picky right now buddy.” Brett laughed, before continuing to practically eat Nolan’s face, much to Liam’s disappointment. He paused again to answer the question nonetheless. “And it’s Theo and Liam’s.”

“Ok. As long as it wasn’t yours and that Nolan kid's, who everyone treats like the baby of the group although he's older than some of you, then that’s cool.” He shrugged again and everyone stifled a laugh. As much of a total dick this guy was, he was already catching onto their true identities pretty quickly.

“Rude.” Nolan squeaked, breath hitched, he was shoved up against their wall at this point, with no regards to the fact everyone else was in the room, doing...well...Liam didn’t even want to know if he was being honest. Brett and Nolan were not being children of Jesus, let’s go with that. Huh. Alec would be proud of the reference. He couldn’t be bothered to tell them to stop, and everyone (apart from the flustered Helvar) was used to their pda by now, so he turned his attention back to the situation at hand.

“I want names and I want them now.” He threatened, stepping towards their captive.

“Awww, it’s so cute when Liam tries to be intimidating.” Theo pouted.

“Whose side are you on Theodore?” He snapped and Theo snorted. God he was a real pain in the ass sometimes. He loved the bastard, but he was worryingly patronising. But this was Theo, and that was him being affectionate, so he’d have to deal with it. “Now. I want their names, and YOU are going to tell them to me.” He turned back on the older man. 

“Haven’t I told you kids enough? Can I please just be freed from this hell hole now and forget any of this ever happened?” He looked exhausted.

“That would be great, and we will be making sure that you forget all of this, don’t worry, but first, we want the damn names.” Mason prompted. A sound came from the back. They all winced but no one dared to turn around. It was most likely just Nett's usual sloppy making out, but no one wanted to see that.

“You’ll tell us, or Hayden will rip your head from your shoulders in a single second.” Theo smiled, eyes glinting. Said Hayden let out a roar, louder than Liam had ever heard before (bear in mind this was the same Liam that had fought with McCall pack), and everyone jumped, Helvar looking considerably more eager to tell them these names now. They heard a loud thud a mere millisecond later, and spun around to see Nolan, eye red, bruised and rapidly darkening, lying flat on the hardwood floor. Brett just looked sheepish and Liam rolled his eyes.

“What?” he said, scooping up the flimsy boy in his arms, “she scared me and so my head crashed against his and he.... kinda fell to the floor. And now his eye may be very bruised.” He examined his boyfriend, who seemed to have knocked his head against Brett’s and the floor very hard, and was giggling whimsically, “And he may have a slight concussion. No biggie.”

“Dumbass.” Theo shook his head, opening his arms in which to take in the boy for support. Such a mom. Brett obliged eagerly, and passed him to the chimera. “Eugh. Nolan, you smell like Brett.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” The still sulking werewolf challenged. 

“A lot.” 

“Can I get a glass of water?” Helvar cut in. 

“Yeah, I have some, hang on.” Lori smiled, untied the guy, much to everyone’s dismay, what was it with them and being hopelessly nice to the bad guys, and handed him a glass. He nodded to her in thanks. “The alpha’s called Matthias.” He began, and Liam perked up eagerly. “He’s big, buff, about 6’2, blond hair, your stereotypical handsome dude.” 

“Woah. He sounds really hot.” Nolan lisped in Theo’s arms, his lip had been cut too in the dramatic turn of events, and Brett’s eyes narrowed very, very fast. 

“Oh, stop being a jealous twat Brett, he sounds just like another you.” Lori rolled her eyes at her brother, who grabbed Hayden’s empty box of chicken nuggets and dumped the remnant crumbs on her head. It’s fine, the puppy pack were known for their maturity in dangerous situations. “Son of a bitch.” She scowled at him, picking the bits out her blonde waves. They all ignored them. 

“The first beta is a wolf named Leo.” Helvar continued, and a large, dopey grin appeared on Corey’s face. 

“If he looks anything like Leo DiCaprio then I’m one hundred percent sold.” He chuckled, abruptly stopped at the look on Mason’s face, and cleared his throat. “Never mind.”

“Leo. It’s like the inverse version of your ship name.” Nolan giggled, sticking a finger in Theo’s ear, which was swatted away immediately. “Thiam, or Leo?”

“Our what?” Theo started, then stopped as Nolan drew in a big breath to explain. “Actually, you know what, I’m cool with not knowing. Please don’t explain.” 

“I can guarantee he doesn’t look like DiCaprio.” Helvar laughed, taking a swig of water. This had to be the least official kidnapping in the history of kidnapping. “He has ridiculous muscles again, and has long, long, long brown hair. It’s kinda cool.”

“IT’S JACOB FROM TWILIGHT!” the silent Gabe finally burst out, earning the teenager horrified glances from his peers. 

“You watched that girly shit?” Theo reprimanded him. “Oh wait. I forgot we were all gay. Never mind.”

“It’s not that bad.” Gabe looked sad.

“Team Edward or Jacob?” Corey asked.

“Really? Now?” Liam looked incredulous. Helvar just looked entertained. At least someone was enjoying this.

“Jacob.” Gabe replied, disregarding Liam’s complaints.

“Ew, god no, it’s definitely Edward.” Corey gagged.

“They were both toxic. I say Bella and Alice should’ve been a thing.” Lori shut them both down. “Besides, there was no way they were straight.” She had a fair point in Liam’s opinion. Not that any of this was relevant at the moment. 

“Next is a coyote named Alex. Dark skin, lean, long limbs, all in all very intimidating.” Helvar continued his list.

“Well that’s going to get slightly confusing.” Hayden glanced at Alec, who looked furious at the prospect of anyone having a remotely similar name to his.

“I’m so going to kick his ass and prove I’m the better guy who’s name begins with Ale.” Alec grunted, everyone sighed. Oh Alec and his competitive spirit. He made no sense, but they loved him anyway. 

“Then in terms of the girls, there’s Tracy, a wolf, blue eyes, much like the little beta’s here, freckles, and brown hair. Kind of dry, she may want to start using a more suitable shampoo.” All eyes (except Liam’s) fell on Theo.

“Well that must be awkward for you Mom.” Nolan giggled and Liam’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Why?” he asked, and everyone vigorously shook their heads at Nolan, clearly telling him not to say anything. He didn’t get the memo.

“I was told he kissed her and killed her.” The human yelped out in pain as Theo pinched him on the arm. “That was very unnecessary and I’m very upset with you now.”

“You kissed TRACY?!” Liam spun round to face a smirking Theo, who met his gaze fiercely. “WHY WAS I NEVER INFORMED OF THIS?”

“Awkward!” Alec sung, he was, yep, glared at immediately by both his 'parents'. 

“Can we please just move on?” Mason sighed, watching his best friends fight was super uninteresting. It happened literally all the time. And Nolan was about to pass out. 

“Thank you Mase.” Theo sighed appreciatively. 

“WE’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS LATER THEODORE.” Liam demanded furiously, to which Theo gave a noncommittal nod. He was in for a rough night. 

“Second to last there’s another wolf, Agatha-“

“What is she, eighty?” Alec snorted, sitting in Gabe’s lap. 

“No. She’s actually the youngest.” Helvar clarified. 

“Oh.”

“Strawberry blonde curls, roman nose, brown eyes, very, very short.” He described, and Lori sighed blissfully, in some gay trance. Hayden rolled her eyes and just continued eating. Then again, she wasn’t as jealous a shit as Brett was. Besides, nobody sane would break up with Hayden Romero and expect to live to tell the tale. And no, that included Liam, he was not sane. 

“And lastly there’s the other coyote, a Chinese girl with very shiny black hair, I must ask her where she gets her conditioner from. Her name’s Rebecca.” He finished, “That good enough? Can I leave you creepy kids now and run for my life?”

“Rebecca’s actually a really pretty name.” Nolan sighed. “Brett, when we get married, can we name our kid Rebecca?” he asked a choking Brett. 

“I-“

“Great.” Nolan beamed. 

“Looks like we’ve got some new friends to make.” Theo smiled in a way that was deeply unsettling. “This’ll be fun.”

“I still can’t believe you kissed Tracy. Of all people.” Liam looked confused. 

“I was just using her. It didn’t mean anything.”

“Well that’s VERY reassuring.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooooo :)  
> this was written at like 3 am so I'm sorry, but I hope you like it. im simping for agatha now, so that's fun. im totally with lori on the whole alice/bella thing tho. that would've been cute af. new one shot out hopefully (stressing the hopefully here) tomorrow night, so say tuned (my writing is slightly better quality on those. this is more gay shit. so read if you please :))  
> comments are ALWAYS appreciated (as long as they're sensible and children of jesus appropriate lmao) I love you guys and good night x  
> mali :)


	13. Making out with my adoptive son.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia gives us an amazing synopsis of the situation so far, and a very short, gay, chaotic (and other words used to describe Liam ahah) game of truth or dare is played.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually despise this chapter so so so so so so so so so much but I had to upload. I'm sorry, please don't kill me. The next chapter will be better I promise aha
> 
> UGH JUST REREAD IT I ACTUALLY HATE IT. IT'S BAD AND IM EMBARRASSED :((( I may write the next chapter early I make up for it
> 
> ME: PLEASE DONT KILL ME. I HAVE A LOT TO LIVE FOR. I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS.
> 
> YOU: SHUT THE FUCK UP *pew pew*

“Sooo....let me get this straight. You guys go on some dumb gay road trip thing for fun, but then, whoops, Monroe interrupts this fun by nearly shooting a hole in Liam’s big ass forehead. So obviously, for your own safety, ‘good guy’ Theo has to then knock her out. Inevitably, when she regains consciousness, she tells her hunters, who you then deliberately trick into taking Theo hostage. But, surprise, you flip the switch on them and take one of her hunters captive instead, whom you now have ‘set free’, promising that if he were ever to rat you out you’d make him wish he were never born. But all the guard tells you is that Monroe is working with another pack who she’s later going to double cross herself, so now you’re about to go make some new friends who are kind of under orders to kill you upon sight? Is my synopsis correct?” Lydia asked, face scrunched up and voice faint over the phone. “Because, if so, as much as I hate encouraging or agreeing with Stiles on ANYTHING, that sounds like a fucking mess.”

“Well when you put it like that-“ Liam began, never to finish though. Not that he’d been planning to anyway. Lydia had made a fair point. 

“I told you!” Stiles’ shouts interrupted him from afar, though Liam was only meant to be on the phone to Malia and Lydia right now, seeing as Scott and Stiles had already heard everything earlier. They were his parents after all. “I told you they’re going to get themselves killed. This is why you should let me and Roscoe go save them and then-“

“Stiles.” Lydia scolded him, using her usual stern voice. “We have to trust him and his ability to make his own decisions now.” she said as if Liam wasn’t literally on the other side of their screen and hearing everything being said. He also could’ve sworn he heard Theo mutter something about Liam being a big boy now from where him, Mason and Nolan were hanging out, and had a hard time restraining himself from wrestling his boyfriend to the ground. 

“I don’t.” Malia said bluntly, and Nolan laughed. Why he had decided to stay behind with Liam while everyone else went to go get some lunch, no one had a clue. “You’re shit at this Liam.”

“Thanks Malia.” He smiled, voice dripping with sarcasm, “What a sweetheart.”

“Well, he’s got Mason.” Lydia reassured her friend, ignoring Liam’s comment. “He’s... sensible.....” She narrowed her eyes as she saw Mason paint Nolan’s lips a shockingly bright red. “Enough..”

“That’s not his shade Mase” Malia advised, squinting, and Lydia was momentarily distracted from the dire situation by the progress she had made with the coyote. She squealed, choking up. 

“I’m actually so proud right now.” She wiped away a tear and Liam rolled his eyes. “And yeah, I agree, I think a light rose would complement his skin tone best.” 

“Oh, good lord.” Liam sighed, mentally exhausted. Had been for days. Would probably forever remain to be given the people he surrounded himself with. 

“Li?” Theo asked, reading a text off his phone, and Liam’s head snapped around to where his friends were seated, fatigue temporarily erased. “Everyone’s finished their food, well, Hayden stole some to eat on the way, but yeah, that means we should get going now.” 

“Cool, ok.” Liam nodded his head and gulped, he wasn’t particularly looking forward to meeting these new allies of Monroe’s, especially given the fact that they were probably, definitely going to try do them all in. Nor was he excited for the drive to the building he believed was their ‘headquarters’, according to what Scott had found out from Deaton. Liam wondered whether they should have a pack headquarters. Probably not, it’d most likely turn into make out central real quick knowing his pack. Disappointing. Anyway, as informative as it had been, Scott’s entire conversation with the veterinarian hadn’t helped boost Liam’s confidence much, seeing as Deaton knew of their new enemies straight off the bat, and said they were one of the most ruthless packs around. Sounds like this is going to be fun, right? 

“Well, good luck Li.” Lydia said gently, sensing his anxiety. “I’m sure it’s going to be fine.”

“Thanks Lydia. I’ll keep you both updated.” Liam waved at the two women. 

“Bye! Tell Theo I hope he gets his head ripped off!” Malia waved back cheerily as she hung up, and Theo rolled his eyes. Liam let out a long sigh of relief that that was over and he’d been made fun of as little as possible. 

“Well, let’s go then!” Nolan practically launched himself off the bed and out the room, everyone following and observing highly amused but very confused. 

“Well, you’re certainly very happy for someone that’s likely to be ruthlessly torn apart in a few hours. What’s up?” Theo asked the buzzing teenager while they walked down the hall. 

“Lori said we could play truth or dare on the way there.” He giggled and the other three shared a fed-up glance as they stepped into the motel elevator.

“Since when is Lori in charge of making such decisions?” Mason sighed, followed by the elevator doors opening, with a ding that always entertained small children, and Nolan. They walked briskly through the lobby and out the slowly crumbling front doors, into the familiar car park. Empty and gross. “This whole thing is going to go so badly.”

“Hey, at least we’ll have done one normal road trip thing during the time we’ve been away. We sure haven’t had a lot of time to most in the midst off all this shit.” Liam forced himself to smile through the pain. He hated truth or dare with a passion, always had done. “Besides, what could go wrong? It’s just a harmless game.”

“Famous last words Dad.” Nolan grinned brightly, teeth shining and eyes glinting dangerously. “Bagsie riding with Brett!!” 

“No.” Liam shook his head firmly and Nolan’s grin turned upside down real quick. 

“Yes.”

“No, Nolan.”

“Yes, Dad.”

“No.”

“You’ll see. Just wait. Nett shall get our way.”

“Mhm. Sure.” 

~~

Turns out, Nett indeed got their way after all. Surprising? No, not really. Nolan could get anything he wanted if he really put his mind to it. In Theo’s truck sat a grumpy Theo and Liam, of course, Liam refused to be separated from Theo again since the whole fake kidnapping thing, and Nolan and Brett were in the back besides a very uncomfortable Corey. Him and Mason had been spread across the two cars in order to maintain some small amount of order and regulation. That’s what they got for being mature. Hayden, Lori, Alec, Gabe and Mason were squished into the other car, and were trailing the truck from about two cars behind. Couldn’t be too obvious upon arrival. The plan was so spontaneously thrown together that they’d had to make sure at least some of it was relatively smart, otherwise there was literally no way it was going to work. Not that anyone had high hopes for it anyway.

“Hayden says she’s going first, she asked for a truth, oooooo, what shall we ask?” Nolan read off Brett’s phone, with a ridiculously wide smile on his freckled face and Liam sighed. Yeah, to top it all off, Nolan hadn’t been joking earlier. They were actually playing truth or dare on their way to a suicide mission.

“How about: Was Liam actually any good in bed when you two were together or were you just being nice?” Theo offered, avoiding the glare shot at him by keeping an eye on the road, his finger doing that sporadic tapping thing on the steering wheel that it always did. His lips curled into an infuriating smirk as Nolan nodded his approval.

“Got straight to the good stuff then Theo?” Corey asked, and Theo’s smirk grew smugger, Liam wasn’t even aware that was possible. 

“You know it.” He winked and Corey flushed. Liam just grimaced as Nolan’s phone pinged again with Hayden’s answer. 

“She says a) that she’d rather not think about that anymore, ew, b) that Alec is thrashing around squealing, and c) that he was mediocre. Very... meh.” Nolan burst into laughter, along with the rest of the vehicle’s passengers bar Liam. “Brilliant. Just, brilliant. I shall remember this forever.”

“That’s so untrue. I was much better than ‘meh’. She was meh. I was not. What does meh even mean?” Liam stuttered defensively, cheeks an alarming dark shade of red. He glared at them. “You’re all bullies.” 

“Kk Dad.” Nolan sniggered as he typed a reply. “Feel bad for Theo now to be honest.”

“Speaking of Theo, it’s his turn now.” Brett explained, arms around Nolan’s shoulders and hand entwined with his. “Truth or dare?”

“Do I look like a fucking pussy? Dare.” He snapped and Liam looked startled. 

“Such language Theodore. Wow.” Liam shook his head, disappointed. “I thought I could trust you of all people.”

“Ok, Theo, Alec says he dares you to kiss... me?” Brett read and choked at the end, and Nolan spat out a mouthful of water gracefully, soaking Theo’s precious seats. He was going to get decapitated. Plus, Corey just looked amused but Liam looked out right pissed. Wonder why.

“First Tracy, now Brett. Damn it Alec.” He swore, anger bubbling in his stomach. Theo caught onto this and laughed. A lot. Theo liked it when he made Liam angry. It was cute. 

“Ok, but we’ve got to make it quick. Don’t want to get into a car crash because I’m too busy making out with my adoptive son.” He chuckled, turned round rather impressively given how tight the seatbelt was, and pressed his full lips to Brett’s for longer than planned, Nolan’s jaw hanging wide open and eyes watering. If Liam wasn’t only seeing red, he probably would’ve been really turned on right now. What? It was normal to find that hot, no? No? 

“Meh. I gotta say Nolan’s better.” Brett announced as they broke apart and Nolan’s look of hurt was promptly transformed into a happy, soft one. Theo looked skeptical. He probably was. Liam was too, then again he may be slightly biased. He shifted uncomfortably in the sticky leather seat he sat in, very confused as to what he’d just witnessed.

“Yeah right Talbot.” Theo shook his head condescendingly, “Keep telling yourself that.” Pausing his arrogant teasing, he looked out the window as they went past a couple fields, grass long, luscious, and covered in bees hovering above gorgeously coloured wildflowers. “God I wish we weren’t getting shot at by hunters constantly, or we could totally spend the rest of our holidays just in that one field. No, scratch that, I mean the rest of our entire lives. Especially if we got a cat to keep us company. And a frog.” 

“Hashtag cottage core Theo Raeken.” Nolan wheezed at the idea, saying what they’d all been thinking. “Now that’s something I’d wanna see.”

“I second that.” Liam raised his hand and so did Corey. Brett was busy tapping away at his phone. Liam found the way Brett typed rather disturbing. He didn’t type using either of his thumbs, but he rather hit the screen violently with his index fingers. Like an old man. “We could buy him a floral dress and everything!”

“I-“ Theo tried, but was, thankfully interrupted by Corey.

“Dare for Lori guys?” He asked and Brett smiled rather disturbingly. Ah sibling rivalry. 

“Next drive thru they go by, she has to buy half their menu and save it for us passengers of the truck to eat once we reconvene.” Corey typed that in immediately, seeing as there were no objections, they all seemed down for free food. Who wouldn’t be? Plus it would be absolute torture for Hayden, having to resist all that food. Good, it would be payback for calling Liam meh in bed. He was far better than meh thank you very much. 

“She texted back that both her and her bank account hate us, and that it’s Nolan’s go. Truth or dare baby Nol?” Corey asked and Nolan answered with an immediate truth. Corey’s eyes widened as he read the text that pinged through in response to his choice, and they flickered anxiously over Brett. Big, strong, muscular, very jealous Brett. He gulped. “Uh, so the question is, do you actually have a crush on that alpha dude, Matthias, or were you just concussed?” Corey looked scared as they waited. Theo genuinely very nearly pissed himself at the shaken look on Brett’s face after hearing that, his fingers had subconsciously curled into a tight fist.  
The two different types of guys everyone. 

“The blond one?” Nolan asked, and Liam nodded. “Oh yeah, I guess. He sounds dreamy.”

“I’m so going to kill him when we meet him.” Brett muttered darkly, eyes filled with rage. Nolan just giggled and kissed him on the cheek.

“Yeah right. Like you could take him Brett.” He whispered sweetly and Brett looked offended. “But the gesture’s sweet.” He amemded his response hurriedly, but his boyfriend had already turned away from him, sulking probably. No. Brooding. That seemed more fitting to Brett’s character.

“My son has a crush.” Liam’s voice broke, and Theo lightly smacked his head against the steering wheel in desperation. What the fuck was he doing with his life anymore? “They grow up so fast.”

“Liam. He has a boyfriend. Who he fucks. Regularly.” Theo reminded him and Liam winced.

“Ew, shush Theo I know, I’ve just tried my best to remove it from my memory, god.” Liam glared at him and Theo held his hands up in surrender. This was Dad Liam. And not even Theo wanted to deal with Dad Liam, especially when the situation concerned Nolan. Who is his baby. 

They all sat arguing with each other for a minute, until... 

“Seeing as we’re practically there,” Corey pointed out, living up to his job of being the sensible one that didn’t have a boyfriend to be distracted with, “I have a truth for you Liam.”

“Hit me.” Liam smiled, glad to be doing something that wasn't snapping at Theo. 

“Do you think this is actually going to work?” he asked tentatively as they turned the last corner before the reaching of their destination, according to the GPS.

“No.” Liam answered honestly. “It’s us. We fuck everything up.”

“That’s reassuring.” Nolan groaned, fiddling with his hoodie strings.

“Yeah, I’m great with pep talks.”

“Clearly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello. ok so unfortunately it doesn’t fit with my theme but if it did, I would’ve titled this ‘them doing normal teenage road trip shit before everything goes to pieces again.’ I have really bad writer’s block (not that I’m like a proper writer lmao I’m shit) so I promise the next chapter will continue with the story.
> 
> It’s like 3:00 and I just finished, so sorry about the quality being garbage, and sorry for the clichéd truth or dare shit, ik ik I’m trash. I’ve decided that this is unlucky number 13 because I don’t really like this chapter much at all. IT SUCKS!!!! :(
> 
> Anyway, thanks for the support, you guys are freaking awesome and I hoped you enjoyed this one even if I’d didn’t. Comments are always so appreciated :) just please try not to hate me for this shitty chapter. I hate it too. 
> 
> Mali xx


	14. I'm Mr. Stark?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This new pack is first seen in action, and Mason and Alec both fuck up the plan in very different ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS SO MUCH BETTER HOLY SMOKES. i actually like it a lot :)))))  
> (it's also unedited so forgive me, and leave a comment and some kudos if you like it, my sad self craves validation <3)

“Not sure I’m too keen on Mason being the one to do this.” Corey mumbled distractedly, chewing on his thumb as they squatted in the dirt behind a cluster of ancient looking oak trees. The wind whipped the pack’s hair back as they crouched, and the cold breeze lashed out against their skin, Nolan’s freckled face turned a bright pink as a result of this. Trees swayed, what sounded like, and probably were, wolves howled, and Nolan’s teeth chattered. It was certainly not the quietest, most serene setting for this stage of the plan, but it would have to do. See, they were supposed to be able to hear the conversation Mason was having inside the tall, dark grey building beside them, or, you know, at least to be able to hear if he was getting gruesomely decapitated or not, that was kind of a priority too. However, no such luck had befallen them this time. Not that it often did. 

About five minutes earlier, after everyone managed to squeeze out of both cars, Liam had immediately tackled Alec as silently and safely (he was still his father after all) as possible for the whole daring his boyfriend to make out with Brett thing. That was fair enough though, not just jealous as fuck Liam had found it really, REALLY awkward to watch. It had been almost like…. seeing mother and son french each other (but obviously far less illegal, revolting and disturbing). But enough on the topic of incest, please. Liam was a father now; he could not be caught thinking about/comparing his friends’ actions to such things. Once the temporary brawl had ceased, Alec winning by threatening to tell everyone what Gabe and him had done the night before if Liam didn’t let him win and then haughtily getting back into the truck, Mason, under clear instructions, had sauntered up to the sleek black door and knocked sharply, knuckles clenched anxiously. This pack were clearly of quite top dog status, given the marvelousness of their facilities. The towering building was about four stories tall and covered in tinted, narrow, rectangular windows, Liam assumed to let in a sliver of light into what he could tell would be a very, dark, chamber-esque inside without. 

Where’d these teenagers acquire this kind of money? Jealousy bubbled unwelcomely in Liam’s stomach, this pack had a whole castle (not really, but it may as well have been) and his had an endless supply of cheap spirits, thanks to Corey’s corner shop. Now’s not the time for this crap though Liam, he scolded himself, shrugged it off and refocused his attention to listening, hoping to even catch a few words of Mason’s interrogation. Interrogation? Wrong word. Polite questioning. He was unsuccessful in that too.

~~

Mason gulped as he gingerly walked up to the front door, gravel crunching under his long feet. This remarkably intimidating door, which was, keep in mind Mason, an inanimate object, was taller than him, and felt like it was ready to devour him at any second as he stood in the doorway, hand hovering uncertainly over the wooden frame. Even the shiny black handle was enough to make the human want to roll into a ball and cry. How a fucking door handle held such power over him, he had no clue. It wasn’t like Mason hadn’t faced much worse, he’d definitely had to deal with worse than a few werewolves hardly older than themselves, yet he still couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling he had about all this. But hey, if his wreck of a pack had managed to take an esteemed hunter hostage and intimidate him (although that had been solely Hayden), then Mason could sit and talk to a few scrawny teenagers for a few minutes. As he hesitated, clearly stalling for time, he replayed the conversation he’d had literally two minutes ago with Liam and a couple of the others behind a Bush, but in particular one thing Liam had said to him. The words that meant nothing special, but were keeping him from running in the other direction. 

“You’re going to be fine Mason. It’s just acting, playing a part. I believe in you.” Liam had said, biting his lip and trying to sound convinced when he very much wasn’t. Mason struggled to bluff playing a game of uno, so Liam dreaded to think what he’d be like conning a pack of werewolves that could tell when he was lying and could rip his head off as a consequence. But that may be what saved them, that it was a life or death situation, and everyone either flopped under pressure or excelled. He hoped Mason did the latter. Liam’s false confidence came through though, and reflecting on the conversation now as he fingered his satchel nervously before knocking, Mason didn’t pick up on Liam’s anxiety. Instead, he heard his friend having faith in him, and that’s what he chose to focus on and relax as a result of as he rapped his knuckles harshly against the polished hardwood frame.

Bracing himself, he looked down at the doormat while the door cracked open, ready to be faced with some burly guard and a loaded rifle pointed at his head. Instead, his eyes were greeted by a small pair of black Mary Janes, fitted snugly around a pair of small, dainty, child sized feet. Confused, and very relieved, he looked up, and there was who he believed to be Agatha, a wary smile plastered on her pale face. Her strawberry blonde curls were restrained by two dark green turtle clips, which were absolutely adorable in Mason’s opinion, and she was clad in a bright yellow floral dress, an interesting, small frog necklace resting on her sharp, white collar bone. If Mason didn’t know Nolan, he’d have gone as far as to say she was the cutest, most innocent, childlike person he’d ever come across. Her expression didn’t match her soft aesthetic though, and he hesitated yet again at her cold stare, the words just not forming. He didn’t have to force them out though, as the young girl, she looked around only fifteen, spoke first.

“What do you want?” she snapped, door open wide enough for Mason to see her and her only, and he gulped. Everyone’s life is dependent on this Mason, he shook himself mentally, and forced a smile.

“Hi. Mr. Starkov. I’ve come to ask you a few questions about this building?” he extended a hand, willing, praying for his heart beat to remain steady, and continued before she could say no. “Government requirements.” He shrugged as if he didn’t care for such things. Not that Mason did anyway. The girl shook his clammy hand relatively hesitantly, but shook it none the less.

“You look awful young to be doing government work Mr. Starkov.” She clocked her head to the side suspiciously, and Mason panicked internally. 

“Looks can be deceiving?” He offered, there was a tense moment of silence and then…. she broke out in an award-winning grin, eyes still gleaming in a way that made Mason far more uncomfortable than he understood. 

“They most certainly can.” She flung the door open with a creak and winked slyly over her shoulder, causing Mason’s stomach to stir uncomfortably. He didn’t like her, she gave off a bad vibe. But he didn’t have time for silly hunches, and let out a long deep sigh of relief. He’d been let in, and without too many questions asked. That was good. 

He followed the bubbly young girl down a very dark, like the exterior he noted, corridor. She looked awfully out of place, like a ray of sunshine in a pitch black world. A beam of light in the dark. About thirty long, worryingly silent seconds later he found himself stood in a large room, it looked remarkably like a medieval living room. Odd, for a building with such a contemporary feel/style to it. Three settees sat in a very posh semi-circle and oil paintings hung from the illuminated walls. There was a roaring fire behind a steel grate, the orange flames dancing around rapidly, suddenly, crazily, representing quite well, in Mason’s opinion, what his thoughts and feelings were doing right now. He’d thought been intimidated by Agatha, but what he’d felt with her was nothing compared to what he felt now, as he stood, jaw hanging wide open, in the door frame. 

Matthias was indeed just as blond, big, muscled, toned and threatening as he’d been described. He was wearing a tight, finally more modern looking t-shirt that accentuated his biceps and barely stretched over his broad chest. If he hadn’t been so scared that he genuinely thought he might be in danger of pissing himself, he would have probably been drooling. He saw what Nolan’s saw in him, let’s just say. 

Tracy was, yep, just as he’d expected, stunning. She was perched on a pink settee besides Matthias, smooth brown hair flicked over her shoulder. Her blue eyes pierced Mason’s soul as she stared into his, and he felt a concerning urge to sit down after maintaining just a few seconds of eye contact with the young woman. Powerful stuff, huh? 

Leo, the tanned, stocky young wolf was sitting on the other beige settee, HIS long brown hair in his face unlike Tracy’s (he did look remarkably like Taylor Lautner, Mason had to admit). He sat curled up besides Rebecca, who was also gorgeous, she looked to be from somewhere in China, Mason thought, and her sleek black bob lay splayed out on Leo’s shoulder as she leaned against him sleepily. Cute, he thought, then reminded himself that these people were trying to kill his friends. Slightly less cute. 

On the third and final settee, sat one of the best looking, most confident appearing people Mason had ever laid eyes upon. Alex was tall, very, very tall, his long, dark limbs taking up most of the room on the piece of furniture he lay on, sprawled out across the cushions, and his eyes were a beautiful shade of grey. Mason very nearly did drool this time, but reminded himself of both the situation at hand and his lovely chameleon waiting outside. He gulped yet again as the only person he knew, barely, flung her small self down besides Alex, who just smirked. Purely from that smirk and that smirk alone, Mason got serious Theo vibes from this guy. 

“Agatha. Who is this?” Matthias asked coldly, sitting up straight and snapping a still shaking Mason out of his daze. She didn’t seem fazed at all though, and just shot him another smile.

“This,” she gestured at Mason, who awkwardly waved and then instantly regretted it as Tracy scoffed and Alex sniggered, “is Mr. Starkov. He’s come to ask us some questions regarding this old place.” She smiled and sunk into Alex’s arms. Mason longed for Corey.

“And may I ask why? That’s very trusting of you Aggie.” He narrowed his eyes as he looked the human up and down, and Mason felt like every single wall was closing in on him, like he may suffocate at any second. He forced himself to breathe, and concentrate on the task.

“Ok Mase, you know what your aim is?” Theo had asked him outside earlier, and Mason nodded.

“Find out if it’s actually them,” that box was definitely ticked off. “Then, see if they have back up. If they have Monroe hiding in their wardrobe upstairs, or a guard in the bath. Whatever.” Mason had laughed at Theo’s choice of words at the time, but he was certainly not laughing now. He could do this though. He had to.

“Government surveys, you know the drill.” Mason steadied himself and lowered his voice in an attempt to seem older. “Names?” he looked around the room at all of them, and they shared a ‘guess we’re doing this then’ glance before Agatha opened her mouth to answer first.

“Agatha Sternum.”

“Leo Jordie.” Lee followed.

“Tracy Flanead.” Tracy’s silky voice came next.

“Rebecca Zhou.”

“Alex Colm.”

Mason pretended to take note of these, on some stupid, well he guessed not after all, clipboard Corey had made him bring. The scratching of the pencil on paper made him surprisingly happy, due only to the fact it sounded familiar, normal. It felt right. He looked up when finished at Matthias who was still scrutinising the humans every move. His hazel eyes were small, oval shaped, but just as menacing as Tracy’s. Mason gulped yet again, fingers fiddling with the metal hook of the board. “Excuse me, sir? Your name?” he squeaked, voice trembling and embarrassingly high pitched. Matthias’ eyebrows just raised, clearly suspicious. 

“No. May I ask again what you’re doing here, because I for one do not think you’re working for the government?” Matthias pressed on and Mason could feel beads of sweat gathering at the base of his neck and on his forehead. His breathing quickened and shallowed as he tried out a patented method. Play it dumb. 

“Sorry, I don’t know what you mean. If you could just tell me your name then I could have a quick look around your living quarters sir. The whole thing. If you don’t mind. Please.” Mason rambled, he could feel everyone’s gaze on him and felt like he was on fire. Was the fire in the room a fire, or a furnace? He tapped his finger on his knee repeatedly in an attempt to calm himself, but that just drew more attention. 

“No. You want to know what I think?” The muscular blond cracked his knuckles loudly and leant forward, closer to Mason’s glistening face. Mason’s heart raced and he smiled awkwardly. 

“No, I, I, just want to have, have a look around, p-please and thank you.” He stuttered, maintaining his use of polite language. Even if he was blatantly lying to these people, he would still be gentlemanly in doing so thank you very much. Matthias’ smile just grew wider, and far creepier, his white teeth glinting, the reflection of the dancing flames decorating the white squares of bone. 

“Your lying. I think, that this little government surveyor,” He licked his lips as he looked around at his pack, gloating to his little audience, “Is a certain Mason Hewitt.” Mason choked upon hearing this, a bad idea, and shook his head far too vigorously. 

“No, no, no. Who’s that?” he laughed uncertainly, but by now the entirety of the pack had sat up and were eyeing him up like he was lunch. “I’m Mr. Stark? Starkov? Yeah, Starkov. And I’d like to see what’s upstairs please.” He fumbled around and clumsily tried to cross through the other door in the room, the one he hadn’t entered through and the one that led to a mysterious spiralling staircase that Mason was just itching to climb. His plan was foiled however, by Rebecca standing in front of it, arms crossed and eyes flashing a bright blue now. So they’d cracked it. He couldn’t breathe, his head was pounding and his ears were ringing with Liam’s voice explaining how simple this part of the plan was. That they could rely on him. Well fuck that. He’d failed them all. 

“Helvar told us all about you guys. And we’re ready for a fight. You know, it’s been a while since I’ve had a good brawl, got my hands nice and bloody.” Leo stood and began stalking towards the fretting human, fangs long, gleaming and pointed. Tracy with her terrifyingly blue eyes did the same, and next even Agatha with her unsettling aura was closing in on him. They all were, looking ravenous and very sinister. Then, he bolted.

~~

“Why? Scared your little boyfriend’s going to get hurt?” Nolan teased, deciding to bother the others (Liam, Theo, Corey, Gabe, Lori and Hayden) because Brett was on his phone for once (a trick he may or may not have picked up from a certain chimera) and his best friend was sat in the truck, also on his phone. Theo had inspired many. Theo mom glared at him in response, and he shut up immediately. That never failed to work.

“Are you sure he’s the best of us to be doing this?” Corey continued, and Liam sighed, he looked and felt exhausted. Hayden looked bored, Gabe looked confused, Lori looked content, Brett was looking at his phone, Alec was nowhere to be seen and Theo was looking at Nolan. They were all very concerned for Mason’s safety clearly.

“They’ll be able to smell other supernaturals, giving away our true identities straight away. Mason and Nolan are the only humans in our pack, and let’s be honest, no one trusts Nolan with this kind of job.” Liam explained and Nolan looked hurt.

“Offence taken, thanks.” He pouted, but they ignored him. Like usual.

“He’ll be fine.” Liam assured him, but choked on his words as Mason materialised in the doorway and began sprinting towards them at a concerning speed. The pack stood to attention immediately, eyes wide as they saw why Mason was running for his life. Behind him were six fully shifted coyotes and wolves, claws out and faces hairy, and they were chasing him at a remarkable speed, they were shapeshifters after all. 

Mason reached them mere seconds later panting and shaking hysterically, and hid himself behind Corey, who looked just as petrified as his boyfriend. Matthias growled loudly, signalling to his pack to halt, and this new ‘elite’ pack stopped their march and stood dramatically in a line about two yards in front of the puppy pack. They looked terrifying, huge, put together, and all in all very threatening. The puppy pack looked like a bunch of shaky, scrawny gays huddled together for warmth. Which they were.

“Hello Mr. Dunbar.” Their leader growled, and his pack howled in response, making the ground shake beneath their feet. Nolan whimpered. Liam stood his ground though, and tilted his trembling chin upwards. 

“I have no idea who you’re talking about.” He denied, controlling his heart beat to the best of his abilities. So that bitch Helvar had told them who they were. Disrespectful. “Who are you?”

“Quit playing games.” The dark skinned boy snapped, Liam assumed him to be Alex. Matthias looked unimpressed by his friend taking the spotlight from him, maybe they did have some issues they needed to sort out after all. 

But a still confident Liam just looked him dead in the eyes and said lowly, “I told you, I don’t know who you are. Let alone how you know who we are.” He noticed their confidence falter slightly at the surety in his voice, and celebrated inwardly. Too soon. 

“Hey guys! Scott texted me picture of that Matthias guy he got off Deaton, and he’s really ugly, I don’t see in him what you do Nolan.” Alec stepped out the truck and slammed the door behind him eyes glued to his phone, he clearly hadn’t realised yet that he had just murdered them all. 

“Alec. Meet Matthias and his pack.” Liam growled at the boy, who looked up from his phone and nearly dropped it. His eyes widened and his throat closed up, rendering the poor idiot unable to speak. 

Well, apart from saying, “That’s awkward.” That he managed fine. 

That was the (understandable) last straw for Matthias and his pack, and they all roared together, throwing their magnificent heads back as they did so, before charging at the puppy pack, it was like a herd of elephants running at you, but faster. Petrifying. 

“SPLIT UP AND RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!” Liam yelled, loud as his lungs let him, as him and Theo took off in one direction into the dark, dense woods, being trailed by a growling Matthias and Alex.

“I feel like we’re in an episode of scooby doo.” Nolan giggled, still standing still, about to be tackled to the floor by the charging Leo. “Ooh! Did you know Velma’s a lesbian?” 

“NOLAN SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT HOW GAY CARTOON CHARACTERS ARE AND RUN!” Hayden yelled as she and Gabe sprinted away in the opposite direction. Lori, Alec, Mason and Corey already out of sight. 

“Oh yeah.” Nolan chuckled, very cheery even though they were all being separated in the woods by a murderous pack. “Whoops.”

“Come on idiot.” Brett scooped him up in his strong arms as he ran. “Let’s try not to die today.” 

“I doubt you won’t.” Agatha’s silky voice sounded, inches away from the running boys, and they picked up the speed, as did she as the chase continued. “Not if I have anything to do with it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with an actually good chapter ahhhhh!!! I'm really really proud of this one and it's a lot longer so I hope this makes up for Monday's :)
> 
> It's less funny, but I wanted to focus on Mason's pov (I love him so much) and get the action going, I hope you like the ocs. I'm still in love with Agatha. Seriously, can she marry me please? There's also some foreshadowing in this, so ya :O also, if you know where I got Mason's fake surname from ily please tell me and I will shower you in virtual kisses. 
> 
> Go check out my one shots of you haven't already, they are still very gay but with better quality writing, and I have one coming out tomorrow which I LOVE! 
> 
> The hits to kudos ratio on this one always makes me laugh and cry bahahahaha, if you're reading please leave kudos because my sad ass self craves validation and thinks this sucks because of such a ratio, bahahha I'm sad <3
> 
> Leave a comment, what do you think's going to happen? I'm curious to know, leave kudos and I hope you enjoyed :)))
> 
> Mali, who's notes are always longer than the actual chapter and loves you all so much xx


	15. Friends are fun!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Nolan get caught by Agatha, and Nolan is far too trusting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter more important note:  
> *new updating schedule is every Monday*   
> because writing has become more stressful than fun and I'm really busy for some reason? 
> 
> The next few chapters are going to be shorter, and in different povs, because I’m fucking lazy. So this one is Brett and Nolan versus Agatha, and the next chapter will likely be two povs, Gabe, Hayden and Lori against Tracy and then Alec, Mason and Corey against Rebecca and Leo. Yeah. 
> 
> Also the dig at Europeans, our food and our spelling, is all good natured, seeing as I’m literally British, so it was funny to me. Because I would call chips crisps. Chips to me are what you guys would call fries. Though we have those too, they’re thinner. Anyway, yeah. Hope you enjoy :)

-Brett-

Brett knew a lot about Nolan. He knew he was an idiot, he knew he liked alcohol probably more than the average teenager, he knew he was appalling at playing Mario Kart, he knew his favourite date spot, and he knew he was very scared of most things. So yeah, that was a lot. What he didn’t know, however, was that no matter how good he was at lacrosse, he was definitely not the best at long distance running. And by not the best, Brett meant that Nolan had the pace of a snail. At best. 

They’d been running for about five minutes now, though it was all a big blur really, especially with Agatha cackling almost manically a few yards behind them, and Nolan was already groaning in pain and clutching his side as he hobbled along the woodland path beside Brett. The werewolf was seriously considering flinging him over his shoulder again and carrying him like a sack of potatoes, but he reckoned that the young girl behind them wouldn’t be too impressed by such a show. Agatha, said girl, was possibly one of the fastest people Brett had come across, which was saying something coming from both an esteemed lacrosse player and a werewolf, and was gaining on them rapidly. Her bright yellow attire was billowing around her majestically in the wind, and her ginger hair had been whipped upwards into a shape resembling some sort of satanic halo/crown as she glided effortlessly down the dirt path. Nolan’s hair had been whipped into something resembling a bird’s nest and his t shirt, soaked in sweat, had been shredded to pieces. The two different kinds of runners.

“Brett?” A panting Nolan squeezed out as they were forced to slow to a jog, their limbs having given up on them. Well, only Nolan’s had given up, but Brett would never leave Nolan behind. Ever. They had made it about half way into the woods by now, and it was the clichéd pitch black that these woods always were when someone was being chased through them. Ok, it may just be because the dark oak trees surrounding them let in barely any light, but Brett thought it was still rather ‘done before’. Like come on sun, stop being so unoriginal. 

“Mm.” Brett responded shortly, attempting to conserve energy.

“You think we could just stop running now and try make friends with her instead? Remember what granddad Scott always says, violence is not the answer.” He quoted their friend, eyes shining innocently, god bless Nolan and his insistent pacifism. Brett sighed. 

“Noley, I love you, but I don’t think these people are really looking for friends.” Nolan looked offended.  
“But I’m an excellent friend.” Brett had to hold back laughter at the genuinely hurt expression on his boyfriend’s soft face. “She’d be lucky to have me.”

“Oh yeah, one hundred percent baby.” Brett smiled sweetly, intertwining his hand with Nolan’s, a much needed warmth spreading through him as result of the familiar physical contact, but then immediately vanishing as he felt someone’s warm, humid breath down the back of his neck. Shit. They both braked immediately, a cloud of dust swirling round their feet as they skid to a stop. 

Brett gulped, not daring to turn around, though he could both sense and smell the teenage girl stood directly behind them. Not to mention the fact he could also hear her quiet, disconcerting, uneven breaths, could almost feel them crawling down his spine. So Agatha had indeed caught up to them, and soundlessly too. Brett wasn’t surprised, two snails versus a werewolf, the werewolf was likely to win. And eat the snails. That is, if werewolves ate snails. Brett was a werewolf, but just the thought of eating a snail revolted him. Maybe if the werewolf was French though, right? The French eat snails, no? People do eat weird stuff like that. Like… the British eat chips in a sandwich. AND, they even call chips crisps. And French fries chips. Europeans are ridiculous, Brett thought, and spell everything wrong. 

“Hello boys.” He refocused his attention to the situation at hand as the surprisingly low rasp of Agatha’s voice reached his ear, and he felt her soft, bony hand pressed against the small of his back. That couldn’t be good. He squirmed uncomfortably, but her calloused hand remained firmly placed against his shirt, her claws digging into his clothed flesh, going deeper every time he tried to move. He really hoped his blood didn’t stain his t shirt, he actually liked this one, not to mention it’d been rather expensive. Shallow thoughts Brett, he scolded himself, shallow thoughts. Murderous werewolf behind you, remember? 

He still didn’t dare turn around to look behind him, give Agatha the satisfaction of seeing how deeply afraid he was, but he assumed that Nolan also had a clawed hand pressed harshly against his back. Brett’s stomach sunk at the idea of Nolan, his Nolan, human, not capable of healing Nolan, being dug into mercilessly, sharp claws piercing his pale, freckled skin. If this bitch hurt Nolan, there’d be hell to pay.

“Hello Aggie.” His Nolan squeaked, and Brett snuck a peek out of the corner of his eye at his boyfriend, who yep, also had a ghostly white hand holding him in place. Nolan was still wearing his trademark stupid, optimistic, childlike smile on his pale face, and Brett had a weird urge to hug him, kiss him all over his stupid face, and shake him vigorously for being so stupidly optimistic all at once. He didn’t, obviously, but it took some restraint. Besides, Brett was highly concerned to notice that Nolan had that weird glint in his eyes when he had a plan. Or when he was horny, one of the two. But Brett doubted that it was the latter right now, though it was Nolan, so who knew?

Nolan’s plans didn’t often work. At all. In fact, they almost always backfired dramatically. One time he’d wanted to try BDSM, and Brett had been completely up for it. Course. But then, Nolan had somehow managed to tie Brett to the bed so tightly that they hadn’t been able to untie him. For quite a few hours. In fact, they had had to resort to calling a disappointed Theo, who they made promise not to tell Liam, the beta would’ve lectured them both for more hours than Brett had been tied up for. Theo had just laughed and promised, he knew Liam and his paternal instincts better than any of them, so they’d reckoned he understood. 

Oh yeah, there’d also been the time when, you know, his whole ‘killing Liam, and Scott’s pack, and all the werewolves in the world’ plan had done the opposite of succeed and half the town had shot everyone and each other. Small failures really. But on the plus side, he’d winded up with a smoking hot (if he did say so himself) werewolf boyfriend, so maybe it hadn’t been that bad.  
What Brett was trying to say, was that he didn’t have high hopes for Nolan’s ‘plan’. If he even had one and wasn’t just really turned on. Brett had to admit that if he didn’t have a boyfriend that he’d probably be really attracted to Agatha’s low, threatening voice in his ears as she held them firmly in place.

“Don’t call me Aggie.” The girl hissed from behind them, snapping Brett out of his unfaithful fantasy.

“But that’s your nickname. Friends have nicknames for each other.” Nolan stated matter-of-factly and Brett cursed as he felt Agatha giggle scornfully.

“Noley.” Brett whispered harshly, why he was whispering, he had no idea, Agatha could hear everything anyways. “She’s not your friend, we went over this.”

“She could be! You know, friends are fun. They eat pizza together, they tell each other EVERYTHING, all the gossip," Brett heard Agatha’s breath hitch, "they watch films together, they bake together, they cry together, they talk about boys, or girls together. It’s fun!” Nolan explained joyfully, and Brett sighed. So Nolan hadn’t had a plan, he’d just wanted a friend. Didn’t he already have enough of those? They were all really fucking annoying, but so was he, so it worked.

“Nolan. Shut up. Please. She doesn’t want to be your-“

“I’ll do it.” He was cut off by Agatha, who’d released her firm grip and who’s voice went up like, half an octave, it was now high and dripping in sweetness, and butterflies, and cookies, and rainbows and everything Nolan loved. She sounded like the human embodiment of a hug. What the fuck? Brett didn’t like it, she’d sounded like a fifty year old woman who’d smoked and drank whisky all her life mere seconds ago, and now here she was sounding like a sugar high five year old. Not to mention the fact he didn't like how quickly she'd changed personalities. 

“Ahhh Aggie, yay!” Nolan squealed happily and spun around to fling his bruised arms around the small girl, who hugged him back tightly. Brett shifted uncomfortably besides the embracing pair. He didn’t like how quickly she’d switched sides, he didn’t like the uneasy feeling she caused in his stomach, he didn’t like the way she smelled of metal and guns, he didn’t like the hard (out of character) stare she was giving him over Nolan’s shoulder, and he certainly didn’t like the fact that she was hugging his Nolan.

“Why’d you change your mind?” Brett narrowed his eyes at the girl once her and Nolan had pulled apart. He didn’t care if she could smell his suspicion, he kind of wanted her to.

“Because Nolan seems cool, don’t you, FRIEND?” she smiled overly sweetly, throwing her arm over Nolan’s shoulder but maintaining fierce eye contact with Brett.

“I’m the coolest.” Nolan puffed out his chest and Agatha laughed forcedly, bright white teeth standing out in the dark. Brett nearly punched something. 

“Now, I want to know EVERYTHING about you friend, tell me all the gossip.” Agatha parroted Nolan’s earlier words with a silky voice, turning back to a buzzing Nolan. Brett was itching to kill her then and there, but in all truth, as much as he hated to admit it, the girl would most likely be able to take him. “Don’t hold back. That's not what FRIENDS do."

Besides, if Nolan liked her, how bad could this ray of sunshine really be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo :))) 
> 
> I'm so lazy, so that's why these are split up, yeah, I'm sorry 🥺
> 
> also, I'm actually not one hundred percent sure what this chapter is, it's not that funny but hopefully when the pack get back together it'll be funnier. 
> 
> I am also very very aware that she changed her mind unrealistically quickly, don't yell at me, it's important I swear :) 
> 
> Agatha.... can she be trusted? or should Brett have killed her? let me know what you think :) (I'm still in love with her though.... whoops.)
> 
> leave kudos if you want to, they make my day and make me feel validated because I have issues 🙃, and comments always leave me smiling, so leave them too if you like :)) 
> 
> I also promise this fic will end ahahha 😌 I know I've strung it out a bit but I really do promise it will end at some point in the (hopefully) near future. I'm just really, really busy rn so I'm sorry :(
> 
> lots of love  
> a laughing at the kudos to hits ratio Mali xx

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated, plus ideas, and I hope you stick around for the next chapter 🥰😊


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